


"Falling Slowly"

by Therealstilinski24



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Angst, Character Death, Consensual Underage Sex, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hospitalization, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Major Character Injury, Marriage Proposal, Phone Sex, Pining Derek Hale, Pining Stiles, Relationship Problems, Reunion Sex, Same-Sex Marriage, Teen Romance, Underage Drinking, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 22:01:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1915431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Therealstilinski24/pseuds/Therealstilinski24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles Stilinski is you're typical nerdy teenager, until one moment his life changes forever, follow Stiles on an adventure like no other as you journey through, Love, lust, friendship, loss and compassion as you feel what it's like "Falling Slowly".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

>   
>  The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
> 
> \- Publilius Syrus
> 
>  

Stiles was your typical teenager but he didn't exactly have girls chasing him around the hallways. He was a nerdy clumsy and somewhat sarcastic teen most girls would flutter their eyes away but some would stare at the way his caramel eyes glowed in the sun. Or the way his slender fingers dangled at his hips. The only thing holding him back was that he was a first class gay virgin. That's right Stiles Stilinski was unbelievably denying he was gay but would never deny his v-card was still infact bearing on him. He walked through the hall to his locker bumping into some people while walking and finally reaching his destination. "Hey Bro!" He felt a hand slap his shoulder as his books fell down

 

"Scott you jerk" He smiled bending down to pick up his history and science books which he would most definitely not use they just made him look more sophisticated with his glasses. "Sorry uhm here let me get that man" Scott Mccall was his bestfriend they met in a sandbox when they were four and bam! they would soon after have the best bromance Thanks" Scott handed him his book "So....you planning on going to the party tonight?" Scott said as his back leaned against the metal "Uhm.....Im not really a party goer"

 

Stiles rubbed his neck unsure if he should say something else or wait for a response. Scott awed then continued "Come ooooon we could get so drunk" Scott turned his face towards principal kingly who looked distraught" I mean we could like eat cake you know the one uhm tres leches or something" he smiled at the principal who walked away eyeing him "I don't know man i mean i guess i could give it a try" Scott pulled him into a hug knocking his glasses slightly off his nose "YEAH BUDDY TONIGHT AT NINE BE THERE" Scott said jumping down the stairs as Stiles smirked.

Stiles slumped himself in a chair at home his heart racing at the thoughts of actually going out in public and doing things like some normal person unlike scott who was bananas when it came to these things.He sat up walking to his closet and slipping on a button up shirt that was the color of a cloudless sky. He searched through his dresser finding a black pair of jeans and throwing them on quickly pulling himself into his favorite red sweater.He was also wearing his favorite black vans that Scott had gave to him for his birthday a month back.

 

His eyes flashed over to his window that reflected the moon like a mirror his eyes shining in a stare that blinded him. He glanced over to his phone that began ringing in the midst of the dark emanating a light. "Hello" he said softly "STILES WHERE ARE YOU THE PARTY ALREADY STARTED HURRY!" He could hear people yelling and music blaring from what sounded like a speaker "Okay be there" turns out he was thirty minutes late to what could be a night of virginity loss and alcoholism.He creaked down the stairs that led up to his bedroom trying not to disturb his dad from hibernation. Stiles dad was the Sheriff of Beacon Hills so if he found out you were going to a party with underage drinkers he'd most definitely have your ass thrown in jail. Once outside the door he began walking through the woods which was accurately located right behind his house conveniently.

 

The night was chilly the breeze blew through still branches shaking the dead leaves autumn had left on them. Stiles was deep in the center of what felt like never-ending trees as he dug his hands into his pockets hoping to warm them up his heart skipped a beat with every twig that snapped behind and around him. There was something there he thought as his legs paced a little faster crunching dead leaves followed behind as hid adrenaline kicked in his hands dripping with sweat and his feet moving somewhat faster.He stopped to see if it was his imagination "Hello......Is anybody there?" he paused waiting then suddenly he heard leaves crunching from a tree "If THIS IS SOME FUCKED UP JOKE AND YOUR ONE OF THE PARTY GOERS I SUGGEST YOU GO TO THE PARTY OR I CALL THE COPS" his hand grasped at the phone in his pocket "IM NOT KIDDING!" he yelled becoming nautious from the suspense . He felt a hand on his shoulder that felt heavier and was definitely not close to Scotts.

 

"Aaaah!" he said jumping and falling on a rock his ass landing on the ground as he kicked at the leaves scooting away. Stiles looked up only to see the silhouette of a man who looked muscular and extremely well built "Who.....WHO ARE YOU!" suddenly the man stepped forward the moon hitting his face just right to accentuate his cheekbones "Im Derek Hale and this is my property your on" Stiles gasped his fingers digging into the fabric of his jacket as he pushed himself up "Yeah uhm well i was just leaving im going to a uhm party and was passing through....sorry about that" Derek eyed him almost viciously his eyes looked blue and his hair bled into the night sky "Its fine just don't come back......ever" Stiles could feel his soul being stared into "Uh yeah no problem" Derek trudged away almost looking mad and angry. "God what the fuck is his problem?" Stiles thought as he turned away and began heading towards the house he was again supposed to be going to until he was rudely interrupted by a hot model man.

 

Stiles finally arrived Scott was sitting on the lawn that had been trashed with red solo cups and toilet paper that was lazily strung in the trees "STILES YOU MADE IT SO GLAD TO SEE YOU WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG" Stiles was hugged so hard he just might turn to dust "Well some weirdo stopped me while i was walking in the woods but it's no big deal im here so uh lets party" Scott laughed then punched his arm playfully. Scotts girlfriend Allison followed behind tugging his hand "Scott come on lets go upstairs i hear they have twelve bedrooms" Stiles waved at them as they glued themselves to eachother and ran up the stairs. Stiles looked around at all the other kids who came suddenly spotting Lydia Martin who knew him since third grade which is sort of embarrassing since he had a crush on her till eighth grade when he knew he was gay. 'STILES COME OVER HERE WERE PLAYING SPIN THE BOTTLE YOU INTERESTED" Stiles shrugged and sat in the circle they were all in there was all in all six people playing

 

"Okay Stiles I...." Lydia looked like she wanted to puke but then laughed "I want you to spin the bottle" Stiles was sorta nervous feeling the need to back out since he's never really kissed anybody before considering he was still a virgin "Okay" he crossed his legs indian style and reached into the middle to grab ahold of the green beer bottle slowly he twisted his wrist than watched as the bottle span. There was a sudden fear as the bottle began getting slower and slower than it stopped the tip of it angled at someone as Stiles slowly looked up. Sure enough it had picked

 

Danny the only other gay kid in school "OOOOOH STILES you two are like cuties together come on.....kiss" Stiles fisted his hands and swallowed the lump in his throat. Don't get me wrong Danny was hot but Stiles never really asked him out he's not even sure Danny would've. "KISS HIM KISS HIM KISS HIM KISS HIM!" everyone began chanting as they inched closer and closer. Stiles closed his eyes just as Danny did the tension filled the space. "Im Sorry i cant do this im sorry" Stiles got up walking towards the bathroom and shutting it against the sound of rihanna that blared from the speakers. He stepped up to the sink turning the faucet on and taking his glasses off setting them on the other side of the faucet.

 

His hands let the water run down them cooling his body as he leaned down splattering his face with the crisp liquid."hey Stiles you okay in there?" Stiles knew it was Lydia who was talking to him so he replied with a simple "Yeah.....Yeah im fine just uhm have to get some stuff off my mind" He could hear Lydias heels clicking behind the door. He reached for a red towel that hung on a metal circlet against the pale wall. Slowly but surely he dried his face replacing his glasses on his nose and breathing slowly "Dont worry about me just go with Jackson and have a good time okay Lydia.....I love you" "I love you too Stiles get some rest when you get home please" "Yeah.....okay" Lydias heels clattered away steadily.

 

Stiles knew he shouldn't bail on Scott but he had problems of his own rather than some party for kids.His hand adjusted around the door knob slowly turning it and opening it only to be facing Danny. " Hey Stiles uhm i just want to apologize i know you've never actually kissed anyone so i shouldn't of went along with it"Stiles heart stuttered "nah its cool you don't need to apologize your okay Dan" Danny looked overwhelmingly releived his shoulders that were once tense loosening "Thanks Stiles......Uhm did you ever want to i dont know......Go on a date sometime?" Stiles could feel some sense of brief attraction" Yeah.......I mean sure you know where would you want to go on this date?" Danny flashed back up at him smiling "How about that chinese restraunt downtown....heard they got pretty good eggrolls" Stiles giggled

 

"Yeah sure just meet me at six on Friday" Danny grinned moving his hands from around the doorway and letting Stiles pass through. He climbed up the stairs his eyes meeting an array of doors that were lined with cherrywood as red as Lydias signature lipstick. The carpet of the hall was white and frilly. Stiles eyes glanced over to a particular door that was slightly cracked open "Scott" he opened it cautiously."Scott you in there" he looked at the bed that was stood against the wall watching as Scott moved up and down on Allison "OH MY GOD STILES GET OUT JESUS" Stiles trembled slamming the door as the image of his best buddy fucking his girlfriend was now permanently etched into his retinas.

 

He ran down the steps his shoulder bumping against the side of a pillar as he moaned in pain "Shit" he quickly ran out of the house covering his head with the hood of his sweater rain pouring down on the pavement and the yard like a shower lightning flashed in the corner of his eye as he quickly walked towards the shrubbery he was once in.

 

The night was darker almost like licorice candy as he opened his eyes wider like he could possibly see anything that was in front of him.The music was now faint behind him as he trailed his finger on his zipper and quickly closed his sweater swatting at branches that kept getting caught on his clothes "Dammit!" the thunder grew louder and the rain grew harsher.Trees swayed against the wind as he shivered the cold filling his skin."Jesus" He looked up at the sky that was now unbalanced with stars and grey clouds. Stiles felt himself trip on a branch and land only to hit his forehead on a rock. The rain poured down on him blood trailing down his head as lighting painted the sky purple and blue.

Stiles awoke feeling fabric beneath his fingers as he stared around at his room "What the hell" Stiles felt his forehead his fingers coming in contact with a bandage that covered most of the corner of his head "Huh?" he pulled his legs out of the blankets placing his feet on the floor that was cold against his skin. His body guided him towards the door and suddenly his dad came barging in.

 

"Oh hey.....I can see your not doing bad" Stiles knew his dad was gesturing towards the bandaid "Yeah about that.......what happened?" John bit his lip his elbow propping him against the frame of the door "Some guy came and had you in his arms it was raining pretty bad and he brought you in we put you in the bathtub warmed up the water then put you in bed i did the bandaid work" Stiles looked confused but curious" did the guy happen to give you a name?" John looked down then back up with a blank face

 

"Yeah......Said his name was uh Der....Derek Hale yeah. ....thats the name" Stiles tried to balance himself trying to beleive that some hot douche seen him naked and also carried his body almost a mile to his house "What's wrong?" John said "Nothing uhm i gotta get ready for school" John pulled him by his arm "Your staying home.....you lied and went to a party you werent supposed to lets be honest i wasn't going to let you off the hook that easily so.....Your doing chores but first off did you drink anything?" Stiles shook his head "Okay then.....breathe on me" Stiles hot breath hit his fathers face "okay good just ill limit it to three chores but you still gotta wash dishes" Stiles frowned" But Daaaaad" John turned around in his Sheriffs outfit looking professional as he snapped his finger at Stiles.Stiles sighed throwing himself on the bed and talking into his pillow "I hate life till death do us part".

It was lunchtime and Scotty had called up Stiles so they could meet up for milkshakes.They sat in silence trying not to talk about what happened that night and sipped the cold chocolate."What happened to your forehead man" Scott reached over touching it gently "Its nothing don't worry about it".Scott shrugged poking at the milk with his straw "Okay whatever" Stiles looked at the window of the shop gazing at his reflection realizing the bandage wasnt as big as he though it was originally

 

"After the party....."Stiles said watching Scott at the corner of his eyes look up trying not to spill his shake "yeah....What about it?" Stiles looked back at him "I was walking through the storm tripped in the woods and hit my head on a rock which then left this" Stiles peeled back the bandage a bit revealing what seemed to be a sharp and clean cut "Aw man thats bad" Scott said looking away in utter disgust "Im sorry i wasn't there with you when i needed to be" Scott looked at him sincerely "Hey look im okay no worries, besides.....That guy was the one who saved me" Scott looked at him and furrowed his brow "What guy? "

 

Stiles knew Scott probably got so drunk that he forget how most of the night went "Remember when i got to the house that night i told you about some guy and how he told me to stay off his property like a weirdo" Scott looked confused but then a light bulb popped up over his head "YEAH yeah i think i remember so mr douchebag saved you?" Stiles sipped from the glass once more

 

"Thats not all" Scott spit his chocolate all over Stiles "YOU GUYS HIT IT OFF" Stiles was trying to process what the cold liquid substance was that was now staining his favorite flannel shirt "SCOTT NO YOU IDIOT OKAY.....HE SEEN ME NAKED WHEN MY DAD AND HIM PUT ME IN THE BATH" Scott held dozens of white napkins in his hand like they depended his and Stiles friendship "AW MY SHIRT SCOTT....REALLY?!" Scott quickly helped Stiles wipe up the ice cream "Sorry bout that" Stiles gave him an evil eye one he knew meant more than just an evil eye. Nobody messes with Stiles flannel......Nobody."I gotta go Stiles sorry about the mess but Allison wants me to meet up with her and Lydia because apparently picking out some clothes to wear requires more than two people".Stiles huffed then continued to wipe at his shirt violently."Shit" he whispered then looked over to the window to find Scott talking to a tall man in a leather jacket but Scott looked utterly terrified. Stiles stopped his motions looking away in shock "Could this really be happening?

 

Is this guy some sort of stalker that finds random kids to shoot teen porn in an abandoned house?" Stiles felt like walking up to the guy and questioning him, So he did. The guy was gone but there was an alley between the shake shop and a beauty parlor so he walked into it spotting the man "Hey!" The man looked up slowly almost cautious "Yeah you, are you stalking me?" Stiles said flat out.

 

 

Derek kicked his heels back spinning towards Stiles direction "No.....But your friend Scott didn't mind sharing a few details about what happened" Stiles stared at him with a sense of fear but he also found him attractive ''Look okay, I don't know you and would really appreciate it if you quit stalking me like a freak" Derek let out a laugh "You honestly think i wanna stalk you?" Stiles felt his stomach flip as Derek eyed his whole body "Well, I don't know what it is you want" Stiles said ''Stiles I don't want you if thats what you mean but to be honest....You are pretty cute"

 

Derek licked his lips almost animal like and if that didn't get Stiles hard then he didn't know what did. Derek began walking forward slowly as Stiles began backing away his back coming in contact with the cold dampness of the red bricks that were attached to the shop. ''I saved your life Stilinski" Derek said . "uhm i have to go" Derek laughed backing away and replying ''Im just saying, okay" Stiles adjusted his glasses walking away and hopping into his jeep and went home.

 

There was this sort of happening where Stiles would daydream about him. He knew it was wrong but what was he supposed to do he's a teen with raging hormones and this guy is fucking hot like zeus theres no possible explanation for why he felt so attracted to this guy.....This creeper.


	2. Something A Little Strange

Friday hit and Stiles got ready for his date with Danny. The intensity of his first date felt like something out of a movie. He knew he shouldn't be nervous so why should he stress about it as much as he was now. Stiles straightened the cuffs of his button up and tied his bow. Someone knocked on the door to his room he figured it was his dad since Scotty had no reason to actually be there in the first place. Suddenly the door opened slowly with grace as Stiles popped his collar turning his head only to be faced by his father. "Son.....I need to talk to you about something if you don't mind?" Stiles nodded fixing the hem of his shirt into his slacks that fit him a little loose but made him look a lot thicker compared to his slender frame

 

"Yeah dad.....What is it?" His dad pulled his hand out of his pocket reaching towards him with a closed fist "I want you to be safe is all" Stiles knew where the conversation was leading so he parted his lips slightly "Dad im not" but his dad fought him over it. "Stiles, Just trust me" He put his hand in Stiles pocket then walked away leaving Stiles to wonder what it was. There was a moment of hesitation before he fumbled around in his pocket feeling the tip of an aluminum packet his mind giving him ideas of what it was. He found himself blushing but then dropped the act slipping in a sweater and heading out the door.  
\-------------------------------------  
Stiles walked into the building, a glass chandelier the size of a pool table hung down from the marble on the ceiling, remarkable he thought wondering how Danny could afford to come to a place this fancy but figured he shouldn't worry about it since he's not the one paying for it either way. He walked up to a podium that stood beside a red wall covered in different japanese symbols and figurines. The lady standing behind the podium gave him a polite smile, she had blonde hair tied back in a messy bun which really brought out her facial features

 

"And what can I do for you cutie?" She said "Uhm,is there a table reserved for a Danny and Stilinski?" She looked down flipping through pages of milky white paper. "Yes, booth twenty four.....May i ask.....are you by any chance single?" She said her face becoming pink" Actually, Im gay" She looked shocked then her mouth fell open lightly "Oh, I just thought you....Your so cute I....Excuse me i need to go" She jumped down from the little stand rushing into a door that flew closed behind her. Stiles looked around hoping nobody seen what just happened and continued to oggle around the restraunt for his booth until he heard someone calling him "STILES.....STILES OVER HERE!"he turned only to see Danny waving like a madman and hollering" YEAH OVER HERE"

 

Stiles felt everyone stare at him not because he was attractive but because a random person was yelling at a random person. He settled into the leather padding of the booth looking up at Danny who was sipping sprite from a straw "Wow.....Fancy" Stiles said getting a laugh from Danny " Shut up....Besides your not the one paying for the food" Stiles throat heated" You have a point" Danny smiled and continued sipping the clear beverage "So how have you been, oh wait i'm pretty sure that's something not so good" Danny eyed the scar on Stiles forehead "Oh its nothing i tripped and fell on a rock coming home after the uh party" Danny looked at him worried "Well, at least your okay....Honestly we need to have more Stiles in this world" Stiles giggled into his hand "Well, I should uh get something to drink" Danny flashed the waiter their way getting Stiles some Sprite as well"

 

"Thank you and we will tell you when were ready to order" They sat at the table from seven to nine talking about things like school and lacrosse. The only thing that doesn't cross Stiles mind is that theres a sudden crushing fear someone is watching them "Uh sorry i just gotta go" Danny excuses him letting Stiles step out of the building. The wind pounds hard against his skin as he stares into the trees lined across the street.

 

He walks up to his jeep latching onto the handle and opening it. He tries starting the jeep but theres no point when almost thirty minutes passes and the engine won't even bother shooting a spark. He looks down the road at two headlights that suddenly blind him as they pull into the parking lot. He drapes his face with one hand blocking out the light until the person in the car shuts off their engine. The sound of their door shutting tells Stiles he should be prepared but its hard to see anything at this time of night. The shadow approaching him gives him goosebumps that travel to the tip of his spine. "Excuse me...Sir i need help my engine gave out and I don't have a ride" (Danny left after Stiles bailed) . "Hi" the man said coming into full view. Stiles heart dropped when he knew who it was "Derek, right?" he said to him as Derek replied "Yeah, so you said you don't have a ride?"

 

Stiles nodded crossing his arms "Im not gonna have to pay you with sex right, because to be honest your creepy" Derek laughed at Stiles "No, i just stopped by at the right moment to catch you" Stiles felt the urge to kiss him "Im fine, I'll just walk" Stiles turned on his feet marching away "You know theres a storm tonight" Stiles eyes fluttered as he turned back to face Derek "No, I think ill Make it home just in time" Derek spit out some words before Stiles could leave "We both know that isn't true Stiles, What are you so afraid of?" Stiles squeezed at his arms his mind spinning "I'm not afraid im scared.....Of you NOBODY JUST SAVES SOMEBODY AND EXPECTS THEM TO HITCH A RIDE WITH THEM THREE DAYS LATER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD YOU SEEN ME NAKED IN MY OWN HOME I MEAN HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT WAS MY HOUSE"

 

Derek looked at him estranged like he hardly knew em "I couldn't leave someone to die when all i really have to do is pick them up and save they're life, did you wanna die?" Stiles knew the answer "No, just nevermind you're right I don't know what i was thinking I thought you were mean and....And cruel but your just......you" Derek looked like he was on the edge of the world his face in utter shock "Well, enough of this you're coming with me i'm not gonna have you die out in the middle of the woods like you almost did last time" Stiles unfolded his arms in defeat "okay, just don't try anything" Derek huffed as Stiles got in the passenger seat.

  
\-------------------------------------

  
They arrived finally at what looked like an abandoned house they would use for the set of 'Cabin In The Woods' "Jesus" Stiles said stepping out of the black Camaro "Hey watch it or I just might leave you sleeping in the rain"

 

Stiled pouted his lips walking up the wooden steps that creaked under his steps. Derek stood in front of the red door fumbling with his keys as Stiles tapped his foot putting his palms against his face and breathing out hotly in hopes of warmth.

 

Derek finally got the entrance open the humidity of the house hitting Stiles in his face almost like a sauna. He looked around as Derek went upstairs probably to go change. The house was empty except for a couch a cofee table, Fridge, Oven, Toaster and other basic cooking necessities. Stiles stared at a wall that had a framed picture of a family that all seemed very happy. Two what seemed like parents stood in the back, the dad held his sons shoulders and the mother held her daughter's. Stiles eyes wondered back to the little boy who resembled Derek alot.

 

Suddenly there were footsteps coming down the stairs steadily Stiles backed away trying to make it seem like he never looked at it. "Here" Derek said, Stiles turned around to see Derek in sweats, only sweats. "oh my- I mean thanks" Stiles grabbed the blanket and pillow trying not to stare at Dereks torso because god had touched him as a baby. "Uhm, sorry to ask but are you gonna put a shirt on" Derek grinned "No, I usually just sleep like this it helps when I have cold sweats" Stiles felt like reaching out and gliding his hand all over him " Oh, I see that makes sense"

 

He turned around Derek still watching him. He plopped himself on the couch, dust flying everywhere as Stiles coughed OH GOD *cough* DO YOU EVEN LIKE* cough* DUST IN HERE" He stood up trying to find his balance since his hand was still on his mouth "Jeesh thats.....Thats terrible" Derek eyed him "Thanks for the compliment but i haven't dusted that couch or sat on it since my family was burned alive" everything became dead silence as they stared at eachother "Oh Im sorry that was uncalled for" Derek walked over to where Stiles was sitting "It's fine, the reason this house looks like shit is because this was the place they burned in" Stiles felt guilty for even sitting here but he knew Derek didn't mind "Look Derek, I know how you feel" Stiles looked up at him as Derek was probably holding back tears "Really, how is that? Stiles my family is dead I have nothing.......I HAVE NO ONE OKAY! AND YOU COME IN MY HOUSE SAYING YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL THAT IS BULLSHIT AND YOU KNOW IT!"Stiles flinched at the yells as Derek walked away into the upper level of the house, if thats even what it should be called anymore.  
Time passed....

  
\-------------------------------------

  
Derek came back down with a look of utter grief knowing what he did was stupid. "Im sorry, Stiles hey I shouldn't of said that" Stiles had tears coming down his face "My mom......When i was six died of cancer.....I just I still feel myself in that waiting room looking at this man in scrubs walk up to me and look me straight in the eyes and tell me shes gone" He wiped his eyes with a thumb placing his hands between his legs as he stared at the ground "I miss her" he added before returning his look back up to Derek

 

"I know how you feel" he said as Derek walked over to him "Im so sorry I have these breakdowns but there usually not this bad" Stiles scooted over letting Derek sit next to him "I feel like i could of.....I could've saved her"  Derek grabbed Stiles face with his hand cupping his chin "Don't ever blame yourself for something you never did" he stared into his eyes. The connection was strange.....

 

Derek was still a stranger so for Stiles to feel this way about someone he's only known for technically a day. Derek also felt the same connection the way Stiles lips parted while he stared at him, the tears that ran down his cheek and stained it red. Stiles felt the heat of Dereks fingers against his skin making him lean forward, there breathes mixing together they became closer

 

"Stop" Stiles said grabbing Dereks arm "What....What is it?" Derek said taking his hand and putting it on Stiles shoulder "It's just....We barely know eachother and this is" he said the last part gesturing his hands back and forth between them "Derek I hardly know you" Derek frowned but understood Stiles response getting up and walking away but before he could Stiles voice echoed across the room "Are those people in the picture you're family?" Derek stopped halfway up the steps "Yeah any other questions?" Stiles bit back but shot out "Why'd you save someone like me?" Derek looked confused "Stiles, theres nothing wrong with you, to be honest wouldn't you save some innocent person who was on the brink of dying?" and with that Derek walked up to his room and shut the door leaving Stiles to wonder 'would I really save someone?'.

  
\-------------------------------------

  
Stiles awoke the sun coming through the cracks of the burned wood he cracked his knuckles stretching out against the cushions. He got up and called Dereks name "Derek" he walked around searching for him walking upstairs and looking down a wide long hallway a door at the end of the hallway ajar with dim light. Stiles crept towards it clenching his fists into his shirt "Derek?" he reached out towards the knob opening it and suddenly he was pinned against the creme colored wall "What are you doing?" Derek said holding him against the wall

 

"Uh.." Derek stared at Stiles lips as Stiles stared at him the sexual tension definitely there. Stiles tried holding back a groan as Dereks leg hit his crystal clear erection "ah oh god this isn't supposed to happen " Derek looked down the tip of his ears red as he released Stiles "Oh im sorry I didn't realize I was doing that" he moved his leg letting Stiles run embarrassed down the stairs. Derek put his hands on his head trying to restrain a laugh at the situation. Stiles quickly buttoned his shirt collar trying to press down his erection" What the actual fuck Stiles?" he said to himself turning to find Derek staring at him

 

"You know it's nothing to be embarrassed about Stiles it's my fault i had my leg against you" Derek was looking at him with an apologetic face "This is so embarrassing god" Stiles pulled his sweater up onto his broad shoulders "Im just gonna..." He pointed towards the door "Stiles wait!.......I wanted to ask if you'd have dinner with me.....At my house" Stiles knew he couldn't say no "Well, im not free this week but on saturday i am so we can uh meet up over here if you want" Derek nodded in agreement" yeah....Sure sounds great and sorry about the whole..." Stiles knew what he was talking about "Yeah it's not a big deal really uhm see ya" Stiles tripped on the way out trying not to be so awkward with the tent in his pants.

  
\-------------------------------------

  
Stiles arrived at home his dad sat in his usual chair in the living room watching 'Housewives of Beverly Hills' He tried to ignore the fact he would be confronted but let it happen."Sooooo you wanna tell me why you've been gone so long?" Stiles felt whiplash when he remembered what he had told his dad about not coming home late "Well, I can explain that" His dad clicked the tv off turning his attention towards Stiles who stood on the rug in front of the door "I went on the date with Danny but i kind of got paranoid bailed out met Derek went to his house for safety reasons spent the night came home" he ran out of breathe after talking so fast "So you spent the night at your lifesavers house because of the fact you were paranoid?" Stiles had the biggest smile on his face "Teenagers ya gotta love em'" he said running up to his room and shutting the door. Stiles texted Scott for what seemed like an eternity of self loathing and eventually fell asleep.

  
That night, Stiles dreamt of Derek.

  
He could feel his sweat against his skin.

  
They're breathes were messy.

  
they're hair was messed up with bare hands.

  
His fingers pressed Stiles hands down entwined together.

  
Stiles felt it all trying to make sure it was real or if really it was all an illusion.


	3. Chapter:3: I Can See Through You

Stiles fumbled through books about Shakespeare and goosebumps while he placed them on shelves. It was the last day of school and Scott teased him about the whole boner alert thing. "Look man, I get it the guy was rubbing his leg against your junk" Stiles tossed a book playfully at him as Scott laughed holding his stomach "Shut up" He stepped off the wooden ladder placing one more book back in its place "So what are you and uh Mr.Life gonna do?" Scott elbowed Stiles ribs "Nothing i'm just gonna eat dinner with him you act like it's a booty call or something" Scott wiggled his eyebrows "maybe it is" Stiles looked at him with anger "Just stop" he walked away pushing a book into Scotts chest "What did I do?".

  
\-------------------------------------

  
The bell rang and everyone came running into the halls like a herd of bulls. Stiles was squished up between a sophomore and a freshman "Will YOU QUIT" one said pulling at the others arm while the other cussed at him "HOW ABOUT YOU STOP BEING A PUSSY AND GET OUT OF MY GODDAMN WAY" Stiles couldn't bare the cheesy insults so he grabbed both of their ears and whispered "how about the both of you grow up and learn that pushing and pulling will only work during intercourse not in the middle OF MY FUCKING WAY!" he pulled his fingers off of their ears and pushed them apart walking down the steps and jumping in his jeep he spotted Danny and yelled over to him but realized that he was kissing some other guy.

It was one of the infamous twins Ethan and Aiden. Stiles knew this had to be Ethan because he was the only gay twin out of the both of them. Sties sighed covering his face as they grabbed hands and walked together. He never felt this bad about something but knew Danny would have to forgive him sometime soon but right now was definitely not forgiving it was more like forgetting.

  
He pulled into the front of his house hopping out only to see his dad holding a box of items. "Hey pops whatcha doin?" he adjusted his glasses "Oh uhm......Stiles theres something I need to say" Stiles knew it was bad from the look on his dads face

"They're removing me from the department" Stiles questioned why they would do such a thing "Why?" his dad looked back up at him "One of the kids at the party was arrested then asked about who was there and ratted you out......Stiles you lied to me........Why?" Stiles hands were hanging freely at his sides "Dad.....I didn't mean to" His dad made him pause his sentence "This......This isn't your fault it's mine I should've made sure you were going to a smarter party than to one with kids drinking jack daniels from a water hose" Stiles had tears under his eyes trying to hold them back "How are we gonna pay the bills?" he said clenching his jaw "Son.....my honest answer is.....I don't know" his dad walked into the house Stiles stood in the driveway trying not to have some sort of breakdown.

  
\-------------------------------------

  
It was finally Saturday and Stiles drove to Dereks wearing his best flannel and a pair of blue jeans. He walked onto the porch fixing his hair and rolling up his sleeves.He knocked wondering if Derek was even home but should've been smarter you know since there was only one black Camaro out front. Derek opened the door smiling when he caught Stiles eye "Wow....You look.....Great!"

 

Stiles blushed but returned the compliment "not so bad yourself" he punched Dereks arm lightly eyeing the black tee that Derek was wearing "Thanks it's nothing" he moved letting Stiles step inside. "I see you cleaned a little?" Derek closed the door "Yes thanks for noticing nobody else ever does" Stiles knew it was sarcasm since literally nobody knows this guy and would ever step foot in a house like this. "Funny" Stiles said walking into the kitchen" So....Wheres the dinner?" Derek was leaning against the kitchen counter "well, thats the thing......I didn't know what you wanted or were even allergic to so i assumed..." Stiles fingers were around his chin thinking style "hmmmm what about.....SPAGHETTI" he looked like a kid trying to be hilarious but failing which was still funny.

 

Derek struggled to hide his laughing as he turned around to look through the wooden cabinets "Noodles....noodles.....ah Ha noodles" he pulled out a box of dry spaghetti noodles and turned towards Stiles "Tomato sauce?" Stiles looked at him weird "what?" Derek put his face into his hand "YOUR SUPPOSED TO GET THE TOMATO SAUCE" Stiles almost giggled but then realized it was in the fridge he was standing next to "oh....right" he opened it finding Prego on the doorside "okay, now meatballs" Stiles looked through the freezer spotting a bag of already made meatballs

 

"That will do now let me work you uh set up the table" Derek said as he clicked on the stove and oven dumping the meat onto a tray and placing them inside. Stiles looked at the way the table was well preserved somehow there was no sign of burning or even a crack. He looked at the drawer next to the fridge and opened it without Dereks permission setting the table with blue napkins and silverware completeness of the way the blue blended with the dark burgundy of the wood on the table made Stiles awe in his work. Derek was finshed cooking he loaded their plates with food and brought them over to the table his eyes wondering everywhere including Stiles "I don't know who looks better, you or the table?" Stiles rolled his eyes

 

"This table takes the cake" he let out a laugh before grabbing his fork and eating. Derek had sauce on his lower lip and Stiles couldn't help but stare and watch as he licked it off with his tongue. "So hows everything you doing okay?" Derek said grabbing one of the napkins and wiping his face with it."Yeah....Im fine it's just.....stress" Dereks scruff could be heard against the napkin as it became filled with tomato. "What's that mean.....Are you okay?" Stiles sighed putting his head in his hands "not really see, I went on a date with this Danny kid the night I stayed here and I really liked him but now he has a boyfriend.....The other thing is...." Stiles took a sip from the wine Derek had poured into a glass for him

 

"What....Whats the other thing?" Stiles tried to tell Derek it was nothing and that he should brush it off but really it shouldn't be ignored "My dad, he was removed from the department over the fact i was at a party with underage drinkers.....He says it's not my fault" Stiles took another swig looking down at his plate "Well, i'm not gonna stop you from having a good night so how about I leave and you get some rest" Stiles pulled on his black peacoat fixing his collar and trying to walk away from the table when out of nowhere Derek grabs his wrist

 

"Stiles........Stay with me" Stiles heart flew into his mouth as his stomach knotted into a million ropes "Derek my dad might wonder where-" he was cut short when Derek put a finger on his lips "Stiles" he kissed him gently the tingling sensation felt stranger than Stiles could have ever imagined "Do you need these?" Derek said, his fingers on the ear pieces of Stiles glasses "Well, not exactly I only wear them so that I look hipsterish if thats even a word" Derek took his glasses off placing them in Stiles coat "You look better without them" he kissed Stiles again theyre mouths playing together like a song one that cannot be sung by an instrument or even another person. Stiles tongue adventured into Dereks mouth trying to process what was happening

 

He put his arms around Dereks neck Stumbling as Derek pushed his back against a clear wall. Stiles threw his jacket off, wrapping his legs around Derek, Derek on the other hand grew harder his balance unstable. He came closer to Stiles neck whispering into his ear "I want you" he began breathing hot onto his neck forming a warm patch on Stiles neck as he bucked onto him "Oh fu-" Dereks hand was on the back of Stiles neck as his erection was pressed on Stiles ass "God your so hard" Stiles said holding Dereks shoulders as he bucked his hips. They're lips met again as Dereks hands travelled down Stiles back only to squeeze his ass."D-Derek oh god ah I need to tell you something"  Derek looked at Stiles stopping his thrusting

 

"Mmm yeah what is it?" Stiles felt that saying this would possibly ruin the mood "I've never actually done something like this" Dereks removed his hands from Stiles ass the only thing keeping Stiles up was Dereks body pushing him into the wall "You mean like....dry humping" he huffed "No, more like i'm a Virgin" the word almost felt sacred as Derek looked down "Stiles......How old are you?" He felt it the sudden pierce of guilt as if he should've mentioned this before "I'm seventeen, but wait wait don't freak out I'll be eighteen in three days" Derek looked like he could recoil from the situation "I'm twenty" Stiles head spun but he knew they were only four years apart "Derek if you don't want to you don't have to I mean this.....This is your choice" Derek looked back up at him

 

"Did you want to?" Stiles definitely did, he pulled Derek closer kissing him "yeah i do".Dereks hands met Stiles waist taking the hem of his shirt  and pulling on it as he bit Stiles lip gliding against him. Stiles hand tugged at Dereks shirt a sign Derek fully understood. He slipped out of it letting Stiles palms touch his torso "Your so beautiful" Stiles said as Derek palmed him through his jeans "fuck yes ah" Stiles let out a struggled cry as Derek continued. "Come on lets go to my room" Stiles unwrapped his legs letting Derek guide him up to the room. Last time Stiles was up there he didn't exactly get a great look at the room , Vanilla curtains hung from the Windows and the bed was covered in what seemed to be a silky white fabric, the vibe of it made Stiles feel a little more comfortable.

 

Derek let Stiles lay down the mattress making him feel like he floated atop a cloud, Stiles watched as Derek climbed on top of him seductively which made Stiles feel intimidated of Derek. He lifted Stiles shirt lightly exposing his hipbone, Slowly he nipped at it, kissing it only made a hearth of fire grow in the pit of Stiles stomach. The cool air of the night flowed in through the open window the moon creating silhouettes of they're bodies it was like a dream, like none of this was really happening in the first place. "Stiles....you sure you wanna do this?" Stiles didn't answer he just pulled Dereks pants down, Derek doing the same. They both kiss in nothing but briefs Stiles urge growing. "Derek.........Fuck me" Dereks eyes were wide his chest heaving as he stared into Stiles eyes.He climbed off the bed walking over to a dresser in the corner of the room opening the top and grabbing what lookes like some sort of bottle

 

"What uh what is that?" Stiles said pointing at it "This....This is lube you obviously don't want your first time to hurt" Stiles slouched back into the bed as Derek took off his last garment exposure of his thick member made Stiles twitch at the sight. Derek rubbed the lube on his hands then onto his cock. Stiles watched in amazement never actually having watched someone touch themselves it was so dirty but he enjoyed it. Derek climbed back onto the bed taking his fingers and sliding Stiles briefs off while staring into his eyes for what felt like an eternity, Stiles cock flew up as Derek eyed it hungrily. Precum had already begun to form on both of them so Derek got to work. He rubbed his thumb against Stiles flushed member, slowly becoming slicker. Stiles slid his hands into Dereks hair bucking his hips "ah god don't stop" Dereks tongue lapped at the tip making Stiles cry in ecstasy.

 

He continued until finally asking Stiles to turn over, he lifted his back arching his ass in the air "we can stop now Stiles" still no reply. Derek placed his hands on stiles cheeks spreading them and inserting one finger "ohhhh" Stiles toes dug into the bed as Derek worked him open "Oh god, mmmmm yes fuck your so good" Derek put another in getting another cry. Then there was three "Don't stop! DEREK AH SHIT" Derek stopped taking out his fingers and reaching over to a table next to the bed "hold on a sec" Stiles was panting madly his hair stuck up in places it shouldn't. He pulled out a condom working it onto himself "Okay, Stiles relax, take it easy and you'll be fine just relax" Stiles shook his head watching as Derek slid into him

 

"mmmmm awwww jesus" he began moving into him slowly letting Stiles adjust to the feeling of someone being in him "Derek!" Stiles latched his nails into Dereks arms "Stiles hey calm down look at me....stay calm" Stiles fingers glided down Dereks arm only to be placed on the bed "okay....faster" Derek went smoothly Stiles tightening himself "g-awww please Derek faster" Dereks hand was placed under Stiles stomach holding him as he thrust faster "YES OH GOD YES"he tilted his head back moaning as his palm wrapped itself around Stiles jerking him off "DEREK I I IM GONNA CUM" they both released themselves yelling Derek still in Stiles as Stiles released onto the sheets falling over in exhaust. They both lay there letting the breeze cool them. "So, how was your first time" Stiles turned onto his side putting his hand against his cheek. "That was, amazing" he laughed breathlessly then fell back onto the bed "I'm going to sleep".

  
\-------------------------------------

  
notes:Sorry if i didn't do a good job with this scene I don't really write smut so this is new for me.:D

p.s story will be updated on friday

Stiles lifted himself out of the bed wiping his face with his hand and yawning staring at the clock on the dresser next to the bed. "Eight?" he said trying to recall what happened. Derek walked into the room wearing a brown long sleeve tee and black jeans "Sleep good" he said handing Stiles a cup of coffee

 

" Yeah...Yeah you uh made coffee i see, thanks" Stiles sipped the warm liquid filling it travel down his throat" about last night?" he said blinking his eyes up at Derek "What about it?" Derek took a drink trying to ignore how hot the cup was "Well, I didn't plan to lose it to someone like..you" Derek wasn't sure if it was a compliment or insult "Whats wrong with me did i do something wrong?" He sat the cup down on the dresser placing himself next to Stiles "It's not you....I just would rather want it to have some meaning you know like, love" He looked away "Stiles"

 

Derek said trying to break his glance from him "I, I asked if you wanted to and you did so why are you mad wasn't it the best experience?" Derek felt shooken with stupidity knowing Stiles was too young to come up with wise choices. "I just thought, I thought i was ready" The room became silent as Derek put his hand on Stiles back" I'M SO FUCKING STUPID DEREK" Stiles jumped up from the bed tossing his cup the coffee flying everywhere. "YOU SHOULD'VE STOPPED ME, YOU, YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME NO BUT YOU DIDN'T" Stiles hands held his head together "I need to go now, Im sorry i need to go". Derek watched him get dressed looking at the coffee that had flew on the wall and now ran down it. Stiles was gone and for the first time in a long, long, time, Derek was lonely. He knew they're was still some sort of connection still between the two of them but he thought to himself as he stared at the broken glass in the corner of his room 'would Stiles have stayed if he stopped himself from sinning?'.


	4. Chapter:4:Whats a sky with no clouds

Derek was frustrated trying not to let his anger get the best of him. He walked around the house trying to stabilize himself from committing furniture murder. He sat down on the spot Stiles had slept on holding his hands against his face and breathing slowly. He was sure he shouldn't feel this way about someone, he couldn't fight it his mind was filled with the way Stiles smiled it was a Midas touch once him and Stiles touched there was more than touching it felt, pure almost electrified heat pulsing through they're veins blood boiling with sensuality it felt like he had touched more than him, he touched his soul and that was here to stay with Derek for as long as he lived. You know when people say it was love at first glance well, this was more like love at first touch if you suppose. Derek knew Stiles would never hang onto him but Derek would try to do just that. Derek would be higher keeping up with life but he wouldn't feel alright somehow. Theres nothing more painful than feeling something become numb and that made Derek lighter. He looked over to the corner of the kitchen a piece of paper was underneath the chair Stiles had sat at, he walked over to it kneeling down and unfolding it.

My number just because your cute:  
575-364-5987

Derek knew he must of dropped it on accident since Stiles didn't want to see him anymore.The urge to call was unbearable almost making him cry when he heard voicemail.

"Hi this is Stiles can't come to the phone right now if you have any weird questions or just want to talk leave a message and I'll get back to you asap"

The sound of his voice was enough for Derek to fall into a thousand year coma just knowing he met this person. This person that had so much to do with how he felt right now.  
\-------------------------------------  
Stiles was sitting in his bed hidden under the covers feeling miserable with what he'd done. He himself knew that it was wrong to have done that without thinking, without thinking of Derek. He grabbed his phone calling up Lydia to come by and talk. Lydia came up the stairs Stiles could tell by the sound of her Gucci heels "Stiles you okay, did someone hurt you because i can get Jackson to beat them" Stiles chuckled "haha no Lyds it's something different it's more than that" Lydia walked in staring at him in the bed "okay, hold on a sec"she lifted her heel trying not to trip on the carpet

 

"okay, what is it then?" she sat on the edge of his bed "Well, two nights ago, wait lets start at the party" he explained to her for hours how he met Derek and what it led to "You lost your virginity to this guy......Stiles your crazy" He grabbed her hand "Lydia, I know I should've waited but, There was something there you know something deeper I know there was and i'm not just crazy I told him I wanted there to be love but, wasn't there already love amd compassion when this guy saved me?" Lydia tried not tearing up "Stiles sweetie thats called love, it only happens when you meet tge right person, when you feel what they feel almost like how you knew what he was going through thats alot, most people come across that one person once it may be while walking, or looking at a shop window and spotting them behind the glass, you might trip and they're there to catch you no matter how high or low you are, they're there to catch you" Lydia wiped her eyes and tried to crack a smile "Stiles, your in love and you can't fight it no matter how hard you try theres always going to be a bridge you must cross but one thing i know for sure is this bridge won't burn" They laughed and hugged tight

 

"Stiles i'm proud of you, I hope you find what you were looking for" he let go of her handing a kleenex box to her "Thanks Lydia, i never knew you were so deep with words" She laughed but blew into the kleenex "Thanks, I gotta go Jackson wanted to meet up at the mall with Allison and Scott you wanna come?" Stiles waved her off "I'm good i have to get some things straight" she knew what that meant grabbing her purse and walking out the door closing it quietly.

  
\-------------------------------------

  
Derek eyed the phone on the table waiting for a text a call anything really. There was nothing the silence golden in all means until a ring began steadily the phone vibrating "Hello" he said.

  
"Hey, i'm sorry" They both said at the same time the connection suddenly there again.

  
"you go first"

  
"Stiles, I just wanted to say I'm sorry and I couldn't stop thinking about you I know it's weird but I like you" 

  
there was silence on the other end.

  
"Derek, I feel the same way, is it weird to say I love you"

  
Derek could feel his throat lump at Stiles words.

  
"Stiles, I don't love you I like you but we should take things slower just a bit before we step into that zone"

  
"Okay, okay I understand but what will we do till then"

  
"Will just keep falling slowly"

  
"Your so cheesy I like it"

  
"Whatever you make things stupid I try being serious and you make a joke"

 

"Sorry, but you have to admit it, that was a little bit sappy don't you think"

  
"Stiles honestly thats one thing I like about you"

  
"Really, my stupidity and sarcasm are my best attributes"

  
"I can see that, say this, we go to the movies on lets say saturday if you want you can invite some friends or whatever that is if they don't find me as a huge creepy stalker or something"

  
On the other line Stiles smiled tearing up "Yeah okay, see you then but first how'd you get my number?"

  
Derek tried not to laugh "I guess it's fate if that's what you wanna call it".

  
\-------------------------------------

  
Stiles was excentuated sitting at a booth im his favorite burger joint" Guys he's gonna be my boyfriend" Jackson spit his drink and Scott patted his back "Dude, chillax on the whole boyfriend thing okay who knows he might just be playing to get into the putt"

Stiles almost tried to register what Scott said "Are you saying he only wants me for my body?" Scott looked up at him after gnawing his burger "no, im saying maybe he's just saying these things to get into your pants" Stiles shook his head "Dude, nobody says I was thinking about you and then admits they like you, they don't love you" Scott adjusted his position scooting over to place his arm around Stiles "look bro, you're my brother and I care about you, if you really think it's gonna work out, go for it trust me it just might work" Scott gave him a reassuring smile and looked him in his eyes "Can i come to the movies with you guys? come on I just want to meet the guy?" Stiles bit a French fry and twirled it between his fingers "fiiiiine but you better not try anything out of the ordinary because I'm pretty sure Lydia and Allison are coming along and you don't want Allison having an ass attack now do we" Stiles pinched his wrist "Owww okay okay gosh but let me sit beside you at least" Stiles smiled

"Yeah, fine whatever".

  
Three days later Stiles was in the front of the nearby theatre checking his watch and wiping down his glasses with a spare napkin he found in the center of his jeep "where the hell is he?" Scott said shifting in the passenger seat while Allison kissed his neck "babe calm down i'm sure he's taking his time getting ready for mister pumpkin right here" she eyed Stiles who made a sound of annoyance.

"Stiles you sure he said today?" Lydia said leaning forward in the backseat squeezed his shoulders "Yeah he said he was gonna show up today I mean, we planned it out" Stiles turned his head as Dereks smile widened through the window" oh AGHHHHHHHGHH WHAT THE" Scott , Allison and Lydia all jumped in fright "Derek! YOU DOUCHEBAG WHAT THE HELL"Derek looked on in amazement laughing "You should've seen the look on your faces....priceless" Stiles stepped out including the others who all walkes ahead leaving Stiles and Derek behind

"So.....You okay?" Derek said grabbing Stiles hand leading him over to the stand "Yeah, you?" Derek smiled "Yeah I'm fine just wanted to make sure you were fine, your safety matters more than mine" Stiles squeezed harder on his hand "Well, lets introduce you to my friends"they walked over to where the group was sitting "guys, this is Derek uhm whats your last name?" Derek actually snappes that he never told Stiles his last name "Hale" Stiles gave him a face of distance like he was surprised "Derek Hale, guys meet him" they all got up from theyre seats reaching they're hands out to shake "Derek this is Scott, Scott this is Derek" "Derek this is Allison, Allison this is Derek" "last but not least Derek this is Lydia, Lydia this is Derek" when he was finished they all looked him up and down like they were analyzing every detail to donate to science "Okay, what movie are we watching?" Derek said, all of them looking up Scott answered "Well, Lydia chose so i guess the notebook"  Stiles grunted trying to hold back his urge to strangle Lydia "Okay,  lets go" .

Thirty minutes later.....

 

Derek could feel Stiles trying to touch the tips of his fingers almost dancing on them.

 

Meanwhile.....

 

"Look at them they're like two cuddly teddy bears, except Derek he shook my hand i felt like he'd break me" Lydia said eyeing them a row behind as she whispered quietly to Scott in the front row next to Stiles "Scott, any action or touching?" Scott turned his head slightly bringing Lydias head down "No, but i can't really tell you know I think Stiles is trying to hold his hand or something but it's hard to make out" Lydia giggled "yeah, I wish they'd make out too" Scott looked at her through the dimness of the theatre

"I didn't mean it like that" She looked smug with herself so Scott just shut up and enjoyed the part where Noah and Allie kissed in the rain. Stiles almost sucked in a breathe before realizing Derek was holding his hand against his thigh and it only made the scene much more better. Dereks arm came up and around Stiles resting on his shoulder while Stiles snuggled his head in between the pit of Dereks arm. Lydia couldn't bear it the sight of them was like two unicorns under a rainbow of skittles and daisies she sorta fangirled but held back on the moment they were enjoying.  
The movie ended surely a few minutes later Scott making kissy faces at Stiles whi threw back a middle finger in aappreciation" bye guys" Lydia ran over to him "Your not coming with us were going out for ice cream if uhm model guy likes that sorta thing" Stiles looked back at Derek who shrugged "okay, yeah sure my birthdays tomorrow so why not".

  
They arrived at the nearest ice cream shop and sat down eating cold fudge and frozen Strawberry. "So, how long have you two been dating?" Allison asked. Stiles told her they're story considering shes the only one who didn't know about them. "Oh, that's so sweet you two are literally just like adorbs" she said high fiving Lydia as if it were some inside joke "Well, guys I gotta go home" Derek gripped Stiles wrist "Stiles, you know you don't have to go home" Stiles knew it was true he just wanted to leave so Lydia and Allison including Scott would stop teasing him

"Okay, I'll go to your place, Allison, Scott, Lydia I will see you tomorrow at say sevenish so that we can partay!" he threw his fist in the air singing the tune of star wars and walking out with Derek in hand. "Oh ,what a cute dork" Lydia said.

  
They arrived at Dereks, Stiles settling himself onto the couch kicking his feet up and crossing his arms behind his head. "Ugh, I am exhausted, how about you sugar lumps?" Derek looked at him strangely" uhm, yea sure yeah i guess" he slid out of his jacket hanging it on the coat rack that touched his foot. Derek walked over to him "kiss me" he said Stiles sat up leaning forward "What?" he crinkled his nose from the dust" you heard me...Kiss me"

Stiles let Derek into his space once more they're lips met. The room turned into a bedroom Stiles was pinned under Derek as he lapped his tongue at Stiles neck "Derek" The boys hands wiped down Dereks chest as Derek continued his role "Stiles did you miss me?" He kissed him on his lips again "very" was all Stiles said gasping when Derek bit his neck. They stopped, the red mark on Stiles skin still visible and sore "You should get some rest, tomorrow you're gonna need that energy". Stiles turned over on his side facing Derek "I've never watched anyone sleep"

Derek said placing his hand on Stiles face "You mean nobody's ever stayed with you, that's ridiculous" Derek pulled Stiles waist "You're ridiculous" he kissed him this time softly "Your more ridiculouser" Dereks eyebrows distorted "is that even a word?" Stiles looked everywhere but Derek "in my book it is" He planted his lips on Dereks "Goodnight grumpy cat" Stiles fell asleep as Derek watched his eyelids become softer like the petals on a rose. Stiles looked like he was smiling but it was faint like looking through a window painted with mist, somehow he looked younger when he slept if that even made sense. Derek fell slower into a psychedelic transcendence as he watched Stiles chest rise and fall, simply watching him rest was beautiful.

Derek planted a kiss on his forehead realizing they were still atop of the covers. Derek tried to get Stiles stubborn body and move him but he was in such a deep sleep he didn't budge so Derek did what anyone would do, he took out a spare blanket and draped it over Stiles's body. He fell asleep a few moments later with Stiles pulled closer to him, closer than he could ever be.

  
"If you held every part of you against me I'd still tell you to pull me closer"  
-unknown  
\-------------------------------------

  
The air of the morning was hot as birds chirped outside the window on a nearby tree. Stiles cracked his eyes open Dereks arms around his waist. Dereks arms wouldn't budge from around him so he kicked softly at his knees becoming restless when he still wouldn't let go "Fine, you win" He could feel Derek smiling "Good morning birthday boy" he said unwrapping his arms and kissing Stiles cheek the hairs on his face tickling Stiles "Stop it! stop it! hahaha" Derek tickled him the boys eyes watering "Derek! hahaha" Derek ended up ontop of Stiles both of them staring into eachother "You always have your ways don't you" Stiles said while Derek held his wrists "I guess so" he replied kissing Stiles "come on you need to get out of here and get ready i'm not about to spoil the surprise" Stiles eyed him questionably "okay".

  
Night fell and Scott went over to his house with his mom, Lydia and Jackson showed up together and Allison showed up a few minutes later."So you guys ready to give me those presents or am I going to have to wait" Scott picked up a rectangular box wrapped in printed jabba-wockees "Aw man you really didn't" Scott hugged him "naw dude its really no problem" Scott held a signed copy of "Star Wars The Clone Wars" "Okay, Lydia whatcha got" she held out a box but leaned over while doing so just to whisper" Open it tonight"

 

possible things it could be "Okay, Allison Jackson, you two got a gift for me together?" they both looked at eachother" well, sorta we kind of had the same idea and ended up partnering together to get you this, hopefully you like it" Stiles tore through it madly like a kid on Christmas morning, in the box was a limited edition Star wars light saber replica "HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD THIS IS EPIC YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME" He squeezed them together including Scott and lydia "Man, best birthday ever" there was a knock on the front door "I'll get it guys" Stiles said running to it "hey, Derek" Derek stepped in his face red with inadequate acquaintances when he spotted Melissa, Jackson and John. "Should I be here does your dad know about this" he said quickly his heart pounding at an innormal rate "it's fine just wait, Dad, Melissa, Jackson this is Derek, Derek Hale" they all greeted him "Derek Hale I remember you, you're the one that saved my son, I don't even know how I can repay you"

 

 

Derek huffed "please, Mr. Stilinski its really nothing someone like me should be payed for honestly" John insisted "no, please you saved him that's more than anyone's done for me please have dinner with us" Stiles would've told him either way but now they all sat in the kitchen munching on chicken, corn and mashed potatoes "So, Scott tells me you two are a thing" Melissa says smiling and drinking from a glass of red wine "Uhm, that really shouldn't-" John looked over to Stiles picking his plate up "Stiles, can I have a talk with you"

 

John excused himself and Stiles as they walked to the stairwail "Stiles did you ever plan on telling me about this" Stiles wish Derek was there to hold his hand just so that his pulse wouldn't quicken "Well, dad he saved my life and he's the best guy anyone could ask for and if thats so wrong then tell me why i'm lonely"  his dad stared at him in utter shock "Okay, I accept but only since your eighteen lord knows how old he is".  Lydia helped Allison wash the dishes while Melissa wiped down the table leaving the guys to talk "Stiles have you guys, did the do" Stiles blushed while John talked to Derek "You mean, had sex?" They both shook their heads" Well, uhm yeah" Jackson gave Scott a chest pound as they both yelled in eachothers faces "OHHHHHHHH" Stiles stopped them "Whats happening here?" They both looked back at him "You are not a virgin anymore man you've finally broke the last window man, you lost your v-card" Stiles contained himself "So whats it feel like, you know with a guy?"

  
"Well, its gentle it starts out rough but we know all guys are like a chocolate from a box they're hard on the outside but soft on the inside"         
"That still doesn't explain our question?"

  
"Whats it like, in the butt"

 

Stiles burst out laughing.

 

"okay okay, well when it starts out it hurts, which is usually one of the consequences of sex but then it just fills you the sensation grows bigger and you ride it out, ecstasy is one part that plays a huge role in it so when you orgasm it's the best thing like in your whole entire existence, words cannot describe the pleasure held in one long moan"

 

Jackson and Scott stared in awe

  
"That sounds, Awesome but too bad i'm not gay".

  
They got up from the spot on the floor they were sitting at John walking over to Stiles " I like that guy, he's a good guy" Derek followed behind looking smug "Well, that was an interesting conversation" Stiles nodded in agreement" tell me about it".

  
\-------------------------------------

 

Weeks followed and time seemed to go by much faster when you don't know exactly where its headed.

The rain was splayed out against the window as Stiles watched to raindrops race. Its weird how when your a kid everything about life us carefree you know where theres an end and there's a beginning but as you grow older there's a sense of feeling lost. Stiles was in his room sitting on his recliner watching the storm outside remembering the night Derek had saved him recalling the scar and putting his finger against his forehead to feel it.

Sometimes Stiles wishes his mom was alive so she could experience him falling in love, going through heartbreaks, getting rid of a blemish or even having his first real love, someone who would have him by his back. He sat up fumbling with his fingers then curling himself up into a ball and squishing into the chair regaining the warmth he had lost since not seeing Derek for three weeks. The sudden realization of loneliness crept up on him, was Derek gonna leave him stranded in what seemed to be the 'Antarctica of Love loss' or would he come back suddenly. Stiles had no clue why Derek didn't show up or why he never called. His dad walked in holding a phone in his hand a face of sorrow forming "It's Derek, he's in the hospital".


	5. Chapter:5:What little, So much

Stiles rushed through the corridors hurridly as he stumbled what felt like multiple times. He finally reached the check-in counter his mind buzzing with what could've went wrong. "Melissa, do you guys by any chance have a Derek Hale in sedation?" his voice cracked but he strained himself pretty good for someone standing to close to the edge. "Yeah, isn't he the one that came over to your party" Stiles nodded "Yeah, I, I think i'm having a panic attack" his chest tightened and his lungs felt a little to close for comfort as he struggled to get ny sort of air source. "Stiles, hey calm down your fine, everythings going to be okay, take a seat i'll get you some water and you can relax I'll see if I can pull up any reports on him"Stiles shook his head in agreement and sat down on a cushiony chair that was slightly uncomfortable. He called the group up all of them meeting in the hospital cafeteria "Is he okay did they say anything?" Lydia said her leg bopping up and down as she stared at Stiles" I'm not sure, Melissas been trying to pull up reports but other than that I'm not feeling to great"they were all huddled at a table in the center of the large lunchroom. Lydia twirled a packet of Splenda between two fingers squeezing some parts of the paper only to loosen it and hear the particles of sugar rattle down. "Stiles, I am a thousand percent sure everythings going to be fine you just have to think positive" Stiles remembers someone telling him that when he was younger sitting outside his mothers hospital room as nurses encouraged him to be strong and patient, that obviously didn't help when he seen them take his mother to the morgue. "Thats it, THAT IS BULLSHIT PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON WE CAN'T HAVE HIGH HOPES IN OUR WORLD BECAUSE WHEN YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE FEELS THE NEED TO BE SORRY, WELL IM NOT TAKING YOU'RE CRAP YOU CAN JUST SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT" Allison looked like she could cry while Scott held her "Dude, what the fuck?" Stiles clenched his fists and jaw throwing everything off the table and falling to the floor on his knees in defeat. "Why?WHY DOES EVERYONE I LOVE GET HURT" Scott held his back calling Lydia over to get him. She held him in her lap brushing her fingers through his hair inpatient trying to make sure he wouldn't bust, not again. Melissa came in seating herself with them "Stiles, Derek you see was in a car crash, apparently he was going to you". Stiles felt tears form over his lashes "He's okay though right?" he sat up trying to hold on to his freak out "he's in stable condition, Stiles he's going to be fine" He covered his face laughing" oh thank god" she leaned over the table to hug him. "did you want to come see him?" everyone looked at Stiles instantly "Yes".

\-------------------------------------

The room was dimly lit by a blue light in the corner by what seemed to be a bed Derek had taken salvation on "I'll leave you two alone" Stiles couldn't bare the sight, Derek was hooked up to I.Vs and he looked restless. Stiles sat himself in the bed next to Derek taking his hand in his "I'm here" he looked at Derek who didn't respond "If you can hear me, I want you to know, I love you Derek I don't care how much you deny how much you love me but deep down it's there, you know it is you asshole, I love you and I can't say it enough for you to understand Derek, theres nobody, there will never be somebody like you" he took Dereks hand and held onto it like he could die at any moment just staring into the abyss on top of them "You trust me, I would never lead you on" Stiles curved his body inwards towards Dereks body and could still feel how warm he was his heat made Stiles smile because he knew Derek was still there, still hanging on tightly. His palm met Dereks face "You always looked good with scruff you know that" he kissed his cheek feeling the hair prickle his skin. "how long will you be asleep?" Derek still stayed quiet his chest rising and falling like the forming of a mountain, or even that simple sign of life everyone looks for when they feel they're dead. Stiles took his shoes off sliding in towards the side of Derek taking his arm and wrapping it around his head "I hope you feel the same when you am wake up because I didn't just give some cheesy speech for your stupid face" Stiles felt like crying his face hot with emotion as his heart drummed against his ribs slowly, he fell asleep."Stiles I-" Melissa walked in realizing the situation and walked out of the room quietly. "So, what'd he do"Scott said "He's asleep" Lydia eyed her "You mean in the waiting room?" Melissa shook her head "No, next to Derek".

\-------------------------------------

The next day Stiles came in holding a pot with Roses in it "Do you think he'll like it?" Lydia crossed her arms smiling "He won't like it he'll love it" Stiles hugged her before she fled the room with Jackson. Stiles sat patiently in the chair beside the bed holding onto the metal bars of the bed. Hours passed before "Stiles?". He jumped out of his chair cupping his hand around Dereks head "Hey, I missed you, how are you feeling?" Derek moved his body aching in pain probably from laying down for so long "Fine, Stiles i'm sorry I haven't called you or came by I've been busy and I thought you hated me" Derek grabbed Stiles wrist "Derek, I don't hate you I just wish you would've called or told me something instead of leaving me in the wind"Derek smiled against Stiles wrist kissing it "God, I missed you too". Stiles took his wrist back "I hope you didn't hear my thing last night" Derek paused "I heard everything" Stiles blushed "Whatever, then why didn't you answer me?" Derek brought Stiles face down in front of his "Because, I wanted to know you were here for me, I wanted to know if you felt the same way"Stiles smirked "I hate you" then kissed him again. "What are these?" Derek said grabbing the pot and holding it on his lap "They're roses dumbo" Stiles said giggling" I got them for you, do you like them because I cam just give them away to some hobo if you don't-" 

"No, I love them" 

"really you do"

"I mean, I'm not shocked but I didn't think you would be into this sorta thing" 

"Well, yeah Stiles you really shouldn't of done this I've been a jerk to you"

"No you haven't so shut up and enjoy them"

Derek smiled his teeth showing this time making Stiles melt, it was different from all the other times he would smile it was brighter and full of life and extraordinary things that Stiles couldn't wait for.

"Please, tell me why you were driving to my house?" 

"I was going to apologize for being so distant but I guess you could say being dead would've been harsher"

Stiles looked away trying not to think of what would happen if Derek didn't brace himself, they wouldn't be talking at that moment sharing this eye contact, feeling this presence of connecting lines between one another almost intensifying each time they seen each-other their was galvanism between them which was obvious to everyone but Derek. His fingertips danced against Dereks face as they stared into eachothers eyes "Derek, I'm only human" Stiles said "It's hard not to love someone when they get hurt" Derek leaned into the touch instanly "Thats why I tried to go to your house, because......I love you". Stiles felt it........The instant thumping of two hearts, like the hands of a clock, like two strings being knotted together so much you can't make out the other one. For the first time, Stiles felt loved. The feeling was new almost like a kiss the sensation was good but once you got farther it burned like the first fire in a forest. Stiles finally knew he broke Dereks wall and he was proud of it.

"So should I plan something, you know when you heal?" 

"Yeah sure, whatever you wanna do"

"Okay, but you know I still hate you for not calling" 

"yeah, and I accept that"

Stiles widened his lips into a seductive smile "How about when you get better you can show me how strong you are" Derek huffed "Sure, but you need to reassure me you want to do that this time,Stiles?" Stiles was staring down" Okay, I will". They sat for hours on end talking about there favorite things and finally putting on the television just to watch reruns of "Full House" . Scott walked in as they both shifted in the bed where they confided in eachother "Should I go or..." he said pointing both his thumbs to the door "no, its fine come in" Scott sat down on the bedside chair "So, you two doing okay? how about you Derek?" Derek flaunted his hand away "pfft, me im fine just a little sore but i'm good" Scott grinned "Stiles, can I talk to you.....Alone" Stiles got up from the bed "Okay" they stood in the hallway "Stiles theres uhm no other way to put this......Derek never told you but he has a bad kidney its really just a natural genetic thing" Stiles was utterly shocked his palms dripping with angst "Your lying" Scott looked at him with probably the most definite look "Stiles, I know its hard to take in but its true, he doesn't have anyone thats willing to donate a kidney for him on the other hand nobody has his blood type or kidney type" Stiles felt his body move with an instant thrust "How long?" He said with dignity not afraid of what could come "What?" Scott said.

"How long does Derek Hale have?" 

"Two years"

"Two years"

"Thats what I said, to be honest I didn't think he'd have that long but he managed to pull through"

Stiles stood stiff holding his hand against the door ans peering through the rectangular glass to look at Derek.

"Does he know"

"As far as I can tell no, my mom told me he knows he has kidney failure but as to the part about dying in two years no....Not at all"

"Good, lets keep it that way"

\-------------------------------------

Stiles helped Derek walk up the steps to his house "I got it, I got it i'm not some old guy that's helpless"Stiles snickered then removed his hands from Dereks back.They got in the house, Derek looking rejuvenated as he took in the smell of wood and rain fall. "Doesn't it smell great?" he asked Stiles "Yup" they both sat on the couch eyeing the place "I bought a loft uptown" Derek said placing his hand on Stiles thigh "Yeah, how'd you do that?" Derek put his head on Stiles shoulder "My uncle,Peter, left me a grant of $30,000 so I bought the place, I just need help picking out furniture, ohhhhhh if only someone were here to help" he Said looking away from Stiles "Fine I'll help but you better pay me with something" Derek shook his hand "agreed" 

"agreed".

A few weeks later......

"God, why'd you have to pick the biggest couch it's only me and you not an elephant, this could pass as the weight of an elephant" 

"Well, sorrrrry mr.grumps but I picked it because what's gonna happen if my friends get wasted and pass out over here huh, are they gonna have somewhere nice to sleep, no, because you picked a couch the size of a mini bike"

Derek smiled in amusement.

"Okay, looks about it but one more thing"

Stiles said walking over to a switch "Whats that" Derek said knowing Stiles had come over the other day to check the place out "Wait" he clicked a button and bam dozens of lights were spread everywhere dangling from a line that stretched acrosd the ceiling through wooden beams "How did you?" Derek looked at it with awe "Magic baby" Stiles said in an overexaggerant accent "now how about that payment" 

he said holding his hand out and clenching his fingers repeatedly "Oh, its going to be more than money" Derek flowed his way over to Stiles "Just tell me what you want" he kissed Stiles clenching his waist and kissed him harder "Derek" His hands fumbled with Stiles belt "Oh god, yes" Derek pulled out the belt and unzipped Stiles pants removing them and gripping his thighs "Stiles, what do you want?" Derek said biting onto his finger "ahh you, I want you" Derek slid out of his jeans pressing both of there erections together. "You want me, you want this" Derek licked Stiles neck a moan travelling out through his neck "Derek" his thumb brushed against Stiles cock feeling it twitch "how does that feel" Stiles yelped "So good oh god" Derek lifted one of Stiles legs licking a stripe up his stomach "How could I make you crumble, come undone?" Stiles felt Dereks tongue brush against his dick through the thin fabric" ohhhhh god shit ah" a wet spot began forming on his briefs "You like that" Derek said rubbing his hand against the swollen member. Stiles lost his mind his back pressed up against Dereks chest as Derek thrusted into him against a wall " DEREK!!" he was definitely not as sore as he was two weeks earlier. "Derek!" he held on for dear life as he was pounded into "YES, OH GOD YES DEREEEEEEK!" Derek forced into him leaving Stiles with hitched breaths between each thrust. Derek threw him onto the new couch grabbing his legs and putting his head between Stiles thighs he tried to get a hold of Stiles cock stroking it slowly "Jesus, I don't think I'll last longer" he said the stub of his fingers tapping Dereks spine "Don't stop" Derek fastened his pace working himself too "I don't think I'll last long either" Stiles bucked his hips harder keeping up with Derek, they both released before falling side by side "Oh man,that was, freaking beautiful" Derek held Stiles against him Stiles shirt still on but unbuttoned "Since I didn't ever give you a birthday present you don't have to keep bugging" Stiles hand traveled up Dereks chest as he balanced his head on the other "That's why I love you".

"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good."

-Woody Allen

\-------------------------------------

"Okay, quick question fireworks or literal fire"

Derek made a thinking pose "I'm not sure but I think fireworks with fire would work better than a dry one don't you think" Stiles sighed.

It was a year later on New years eve and Stiles had already moved in with Derek, he would go to his college courses and what not but mainly he was studying to become a police officer like his dad. "I usually don't do this but can I like try something" Stiles popped a cherry into his mouth quickly before Derek looked "I want you to guess what's in my mouth before you kiss me, if you get it right I'll give you a kiss" Derek smirked "how about i guess while you kiss me" Stiles sat on his lap facing towards him with his legs at the side" deal" He kissed Derek the cherry colliding between their tongues as Derek pushed it into his mouth biting down "Cherry" Stiles punched his arm hitting him playfully "you cheater oh well" he pushed himself off of Derek "What are we doing tonight?" Stiles said kicking his legs back and forth on the stool chomping on cherries "I was thinking we could invite the pack over and celebrate you know liven the moment with sparkling champagne and cheap chocolate of your choice" Stiles jumped off the stool "Yeah, I'll call them and we can watch the ball drop if you want" Derek nodded letting Stiles scurry off into some other part of the loft to call them.

An hour later......

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!" They all yelled into the air popping open a bottle of champagne as it flew everywhere. "Any new years resolutions?" Stiles said sipping his share of the bottle "Maybe, I'll work out more" Scott said across the counter on a stool "Yeah, how about you Lydia?" Stiles tilted his glass to her as he munched on a chocolate "I'm not sure but me and Jackson were thinking of getting married" Stiles jumped up and down "THATS GREAT GUYS I MEAN HONESTLY ITS GREAT" he squished them together as Scott and Allison joined in "enough, enough i can barely feel the blood in my toes" Stiles pushed everyone off returning to his seat "Allison how about you?" She frowned taking Scotts hand and clenching it "I'm moving from Beacon Hills to France" Stiles could've sworn he heard Scotts heart break "I'm fine guys, shes better off with a new guy and a nice house and projectively a new life from this" Allison kissed his cheek "Scott you know you shouldn't think I would honestly leave you I mean you're everything" she held his hand against his face. Derek walked up behind Stiles giving him a backwards kiss that made Stiles turn his neck slightly "You guys make me sad because Jackson would never tell me those things or do anything like that" she emphasized the 'That' as she pointed to Stiles and Derek. "Thats so not true you know I've done way more romantic things" Jackson said "Like what, tell me i'm dying to know" Lydia replied "that one time there was a puddle of water and i put my jacket on top of it so that you didn't get your new heels ruined"Lydia scoffed "then aftewards you called me a jerk for stepping on it" Jackson stopped in defeat. "Well, at least tomorrow we can sleep in until monday which means i have to take my final mid term god damn I hate scheduling this sort of stuff" Stiles took a drink as Derek massaged his shoulders" well, don't stress just let the weekend stay with you" Stiles placed his hand over Dereks "sure, you say it like it's an easy thing to blow off" Derek leaned over to whisper in Stiles ear "we can light some candles and take a nice bath, wouldn't you like that" Derek leaned back again watching Lydia converse with Allison and Scott talk with Jackson about classes "Okay, guys I think were gonna hit the hay me and Stiles have some things to do".Lydia gave them a box of chocolate covered strawberries and Scott carried over to them a gift basket with soaps and other cleansers. "Bye guys thanks for a great time" he shouted down the rails that seemed to never end as they all walked out the building. "Derek, how about that bubble bath".


	6. Chapter:6:The truth is what follows

Derek stepped out of the shower wiping the mirror in front of him free of mist. He dried himself with a towel knowing Stiles would be home in a few moments, the air felt cold against his damp skin as he shivered. The huge metal door opened to the loft and Derek knew it was Stiles "Honey, i'm home"  Stiles said sarcastically the sound of his keys hitting the counter always made Derek smile. He walked into the bathroom his arm against the frame and his hand stretched out to meet the other side. "You look sexy today" Derek chuckled "yeah right" he shook the towel violently against his hair trying to absorb as much water as he could "Derek, you wanna watch a movie and snuggle?" Derek couldn't say no to the god damn puppy face Stiles was giving him. They ended up watching 'The Lost Boys' Stiles hogged the popcorn, both of them taking turns tossing popcorn in each others mouths. Stiles fell asleep under Derek's arms his hot breath hitting Derek's hand. He always fell in love with the way Stiles slept, because it was so peaceful, the way his features softened and his lips parted slightly it was breathtaking to watch. It was a few minutes until Stiles began awaking "Derek, what time is it?" Derek dug through his pocket fishing for his phone finally pulling it out "it's 9:47pm" he said brushing his thumb over Stiles cheek "What's wrong?" Derek said as Stiles turned onto his side " there's something i've known since the hospitalization" Dereks face became rough with a serious expression "What....Stiles what is it what have you been keeping from me for thirteen months" Stiles looked like he could die his face turning into a crest-fallen look almost sorrowful "I know about the kidney" Dereks eyes widened his mouth becoming wide with an overwhelming appropriated reactions "I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd have a breakdown or worse you wouldve killed yourself" Stiles scooted his body off standing up "Derek what else are you hiding?" Dereks lips trembled "what do you mean?" Stiles tried not to despise him "what do I mean, you mean you don't know they told me you had two years to live!" Dereks legs felt limp as he ran to the bathroom shutting the door and settling himself on the tile of the floor laying down as he heard Stiles footsteps "Derek!" he yelled he counted each step till Stiles had his hands banging on the door "Derek come out please, tell me your okay, tell me its alright, just tell me".Derek stared up st the light in the bathroom feeling its heat hit his face like a sun beating down on him illuminating his sight from the destination, from the situation.

"Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused."

-Alan Cohen

Stiles sat outside the door his head in his hands "Would you stay A little longer?" he cried into his hands tears racing down his face like the raindrops he had seen when Derek was gone. Derek didn't answer as Stiles tried to budge him "your wasting your few months, your few days on that bathroom floor, when you could be travelling to brazil or Paris with that money of yours" Derek stared into the light a long time pretty sure he'd just about go blind.His hands spread at his sides "Derek, I know you can hear me clearly, I don't want to lose you" he said through the wood on the door "Stiles I love you more than anything, I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I don't want that to go away. But I know this is what's going to come. Stiles what's going to happen is i'm not going to be around for as long as you'd hoped. I just want to touch you and love you and make sure you feel me when I want you too. Even if i'm not their. I want you to go to the house in the woods everyday and stand where we first met. I want you to live with me as if you were dying too. Stiles I want you to be a part of me. I never meant to fall for you, it just happened the instant we met, yeah I might of been a jerk that night but that jerk saved your life and gave you love you've never had from anybody and that's what I wanted to give you Stiles, I wanted to give you love you could never give back, STILES GOD DAMMIT I LOVE YOU.....I LOVE YOU AND DON'T WANT TO GO! I CAN HOLD MY BREATHE AND STAY AWAKE FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT BUT I KNOW I CAN NEVER GIVE YOU ALL OF ME STILES I NEED FOR YOU TO BE STRONG, I need to be strong for you and that's the only way we can get through this"  he heard Stiles falling apart on the other side. The sound of him crying was strong like knives to Derek's heart "Stiles, I need you to be strong" he sat up walking over to the door and opening it to see Stiles "I don't want you to go" he kneeled down placing his legs around Stiles and hugging him so close to his chest that Stiles could hold his heart if he wanted. "I'm scared Derek" he kissed Stiles head rocking him back and forth "I am too, I am too" .

\-------------------------------------

They slept in that spot all night because it didn't matter, he just wanted to have Stiles by his side at all times no matter where it was.

They awakened together, the cold of the wooden floor nipping at their toes. Stiles headed off to school (College) early that morning leaving Derek alone once again. He stayed in the loft watching tv especially 'Full House' Smiling and remembering the night him and Stiles stayed in the hospital watching it. He sat up from the couch looking at the bathroom door they had slept at. Derek wanted to do something special, something he'd never done before.

That day he went to a ring shop.

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

\- Nora Ephron

Derek sat on the edge of the couch waiting until Stiles got home. It felt like forever until he walked in "Hey" he said shutting the door and tossing his keys onto the usual spot sitting down on a stool looking stressed "classes are out so you know I get to spend more time with you" Derek walked up to the table kneeling down next to Stiles "Stiles look at me" Stiles turned his head eyes widening "Will you marry me?" Stiles eyes teared up and he clasped his hands over his mouth. "Derek I don't know what to say" Derek took his hands "Say yes". Stiles hugged him jumping off and letting Derek adjust the ring onto his finger "Oh my god I can't beleive this is happening" Derek pulled him close kissing him "Stiles I want to stay, even if i'm gone" he held him close their hearts beating the same speed, the same song. They both kissed softly their lips triggering something that they could understand, something they both knew was right and was for the best.

"Fiction, when we're not together

Mistaken for a vision, something of my own creation

I wake up alone, with only daylight between us

Last night the world was beneath us, tonight comes, dear love

Were we torn apart by the break of day?

You're more than I can believe, would ever come my way

Fiction, when we're not together

Mistaken for a vision, something of my own creation

Come real love, why do I refuse you?

Cause if my fear's right, I risk to lose you

And if I just might wake up alone

Bring on the night

Fiction, when we're not together

Mistaken for a vision, something of my own creation

Any certainties, how am I to tell?

I know your face all too well, still I wake up alone

Fiction, when we're not together"

-The XX- Fiction

\-------------------------------------

It was a week before Stiles called his father handing the phone over to Derek "Just tell him" he said as Derek grasped onto the phone "Hello" he said biting his nails "Yes, hello Derek Stiles says you have to tell me something "yes sir, I would like to have you're  blessing and permission to marry you're son" the other side of the phone was silent "Well, what are you waiting for boy go get married live your life together be happy" Derek taunted a smile at Stiles "oh we will sir"  Stiles was as happy as a kid who met barney "WERE GETTING MARRIED!" Derek lifted him off the floor noticing how Stiles arms were a little bigger and his chest not as flat but buffer "Jesus what have you been doing" Stiles arms were tucked at his sides beneath Derek's arms "Working out"  Derek dropped him, Stiles head hitting the counter and becoming knocked out."STILES!".

thirty minutes later.....

Stiles opened his eyes looking up to find he was laying on the couch with Derek who had him on his lap. Something cold was touching his head, he snatched it from Dereks hand and realized it was just a bag filled with ice that he had been pressing against the knot on his forehead "well, heres how marriage starts I guess" .They curled together on the couch "You know I wish we could do this everyday just let ourselves become care free you know" Derek thought of a quote that he had heard on tv the other day " Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity".Stiles looked at him almost estranged "What was that?"he said.

"Henry Van Dyke"

"Who's that?"

"Not sure but their pretty wise if you ask me"

"That was really cheesy but the quote fits you"

"Yeah, yeah it does".

Stiles leaned forward placing his thumb against Derek's lip "You're so beautiful, its gonna be hard to forget you, even if I try, to be honest I won't forget you, Yeah it might be because tu es mon ame"

Derek scrunched his eyebrows together" whats that mean" Stiles whispered into his ear "It means you are my soul in french" Derek still held the same expression "When did you learn french?" he said leaning out of Stiles "It was an extra course so I took it" Stiles said .

\-------------------------------------

"we need to plan our wedding" Dereks palms were on Stiles hips "How would we start, what should we plan first" Stiles pouted his lips "hmmmm music?" Derek nodded in agreement "okay, what music would we pick, what dance are we going to plan this for?"Stiles looked back "Our dance" he flew up off the couch walking over to his Ipod Jack" How about something by Queen or wait I heard some song on the radio uh flames....no wait that's not it, it the uh 'The Frames' yeah that's the group but I could never figure out the flippin song here wait" he slipped his headphones on scrolling through something on his phone and finally yelling "Yahtzee" he put his Iphone on the jack "come here I want to dance with you just so you know how it will feel and sound" Derek looked like he didn't want to even try. The song began, Stiles hands placed on Derek's broad widened shoulders, Derek's hands traveled  down his back stopping on his waist. They swayed slowly the music carrying them in the right direction as Derek led, being the tall one in the relationship it was sorta his duty. Stiles head was curved inwards towards Derek's neck "You like it" they both moved their feet to the beat slow and soft "whats the name of this song either way?" he said still keeping motion "'Falling Slowly' " Stiles said closing his eyes and putting his forehead against Dereks "You know this is going to be our first and last dance?" Stiles swayed with him "I know, that's why I want it to be perfect, When you have someone so wonderful, you never want to lose them. You do anything in your heart to hold them forever, I guess there comes a point where you just stop trying because it hurts to much to hold on, But you just gotta keep your hands on me Derek. Keep them there because if I lose you I lose my mind". Derek did that, he kept his hands at Stiles side the music filling their ears as there feet stepped side by side feeling the chills of guitar against the tip of their spines almost sensationally. It felt like kissing almost the notes hitting their hearts as they held eachother.Hold on. Be strong. Keep pushing through the rough patches in life. Eventually they fade. Stiles scooted back looking into Dereks eyes "Derek, would you do that for me?" Derek swallowed "Yes".

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You know when you sleep you only see people you met.

The one thing thats hard is holding on, holding on is something humans tend to do, it's sort of a salvational thing for people being used to that object or person, like a snowstorm that clings to your skin when you walk into a room filled with heat or a prescence of kinds.

What i'm saying is there's something we could all agree on whether it's in denial or if it's true theres always a love of a natural thing, I myself couldn't agree more but don't you think it's ridiculous when people look towards life and say " Love isn't real" or "Love doesn't purify our water" when in all love is is not just a concept it's a memory and above all you can't see it. You can touch it. You can feel it. You can taste it. You can hear it. Repeatedly its a cycle of whether it's there or not and all though you might not think about it or acknowledge it everyone has it deep down. It's something that pumps through veins and fuels our hearts. When someone takes your heart they take your eyes with them. You might cry blood and wish you were with them but one thing is for sure is that the pain is a sign you're alive a sign you can still feel and look and sense this perception of life we all come to face. You can look at the way a rose shrivels up when it's not cared for and thats what love is. If you care about someone are you gonna replenish them with you're love, Well of course thats what love is, A soulmate is all but one soul inhabiting two bodies. When you think about it god created us with two hearts, four legs, and four arms, While doing this he decided we looked like creeps and split us up into two because we would probably be the most disturbing things walking this earth.

Difficulty means complexity of any situation. Something is said to be difficult if great amount of effort and skill is required to understand it. You face difficulty in tackling simple mathematical problems, riddles and puzzles, too. They are supposed to have varying difficulty levels. Any such problem is difficult or mind-boggling if you can't solve it in one shot and find it a har

When I cry or lose or bruise, so long as I am still alive, nothing is ultimate. So long as there is still a tomorrow, a next moment, there is hope, there is change, there is redemption. What is lost, is not lost forever.

 

 

 

 

Love is like a knife it can carve beautiful and wonderful images into the heart that can last a lifetime or it can leave a scar that will never heal on it's own.


	7. "Whispering in the dark"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really bad smut but if you like it please feel free to comment and appreciate it :)

Stiles walked into the shop, Lydia pulling his hand towards the back so that they could could get Stiles to try on different suits mainly, his dad walked behind them "Would've gave you mine but i was a little thick when I got married to your mother" he coughed out Stiles and Lydia leaving him with uncanny faces "Okay, maybe i wasn't too big but that doesn't matter just let me see you in some fancy shmancy suit so I can put it in a scrap book" . Lydia settled him down in a chair walking up to the tailor and asking for measurements and extra well tailored if that even made sense at all. "Okay, what do we have here oooh little cutie huh" The tailor was obviously flirting with him (It was a guy that unfortunately made Stiles squirm in his chair) "I'm just teasing, come on let me show you what might work on that toned body of yours" He followed Lydia and the guy into the back "Okay so you have your penguin suits here,The dinner suits there, wedding suits here, Designer suits there, vintage suits, pinstripe, window pane, Solid statements which of course holds many colors red, blue, pink, orange, baby blue, whatever you fancy, you have linen which i hate since the fabric feels like silk pajamas you'd wear if you were some rich stuck up bitch, and last but not least you have your original tuxedos that I personally think would fit you better than the rest but thats up to you and your style." Stiles fingers crossed the fabric, gazing at the designs and finally coming across a tuxedo that was as black as night and also held a lovely scent within the fabric. he felt it holding his face against the fabric and feeling it hit his skin like Derek was caressing him again.

 

"Excuse me sir" He leaned in towards Lydia "Is he okay should I call someone?" Lydia whispered back "He's not so great you see his soon to be husband only has a ways to live and he wants to marry him before he's gone and I think he takes great comfort in the smell of a man" She said turning her eyes back in Stiles direction "Oh sweetie take you're time don't mind me I have to go fetch another customer". Stiles closed his eyes breathing in the scent of wood and faint cologne "Stiles hey, you okay you wanna go? we can always come back next month or tomorrow or whenever you feel like coming back?" She had her hand on his back slowly rubbing it "I think i'm good sorry if that was weird it just reminds me of Derek". Lydia consoled him "You want this one is it your size" she pulled out the plastic tag "Wow for a nice suit this comes pretty cheap, you sure you want this?" Stiles smoothed it between his thumb and finger "Yeah, im sure".

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"MOMMY! MOMMY!"

"yes, What is it pumpkin?"

"Whats a love?"

"A love, you mean love?"

"Yes, tell me mommy?"

"Love is a nature. However much we may want to, we can not tell, demand, or disappear love, any more than we can command the moon and the stars and the wind and the rain to come and go according to our thoughts. We may have some super ability to change the weather, but we do so at the risk of upsetting an natural balance we don't understand. Like the sun, love radiates independently of our fears and desires.A person can be said to love an object, or person like how I Iove you Stiles" It was alot for a six year old to process.

there was a monitor noise beeping in the distance.

"Mommy! YOUR BLEEDING!" Stiles pointed at the stain of blood that began forming on her stomach

"STILES! STILES! WAKE UP I'M HERE WAKE UP!" his mom said yelling at him.

Stiles was kicking and screaming in they're bed Derek holding him down "Stiles! Hey! I'm Here!" Then he stopped holding Dereks arm against his chin crying and sweating "What was that about Stiles, are you okay?" Stiles was still crying "It was just a bad dream, thats all" Derek pushed Stiles back against his chest "don't scare me like that" he said as Stiles quit weeping "I'm sorry for scaring you" he kissed Derek "What happened? what was in you're dream that you were so afraid of?" Stiles wiped his face with a free hand "My mom, she was speaking to me so clearly then she started bleeding and yelling and thats when you saved me from my nightmare" Derek was rubbing his arm "i'm glad you're okay". Stiles rolled out of his arms onto his side of the bed "Why did you even like me in the first place? like what interested you the most about me?" Derek entagled there hands together facing him as they lay there in eachothers prescence "I like'd the way you smiled, the way you didn't care about what others thought of you, I liked how you were clumsy and tended to fall over you're words if you didn't choose them correctly, I liked how you looked at me with that weird little glint in you're eyes" Derek pushed his self closer suddenly feeling the calefaction on Stiles "What did you think about me?" Derek said watching Stiles pull the blanket up "when I first saw you I was afraid to meet you, when I first met you I was afraid to kiss you, when I first kissed you I was afraid to love you but now that I love you i'm afraid to lose you". He clutched Dereks hand hard in the darkness "Stiles don't talk like that" he said holding himself together "You know it's true" Derek didn't want to admit it "look were going to have a great time here in just a month or so eating white cake and dancing underneath the stars huh? wouldn't you like that, wouldn't you want to make this last just a little longer?" Stiles fingers played with Dereks chest "Yes, but we still need to know what will happen, Derek we need to be prepared and I don't think i'm ready for that Derek, not yet, not now, not ever" the room grew silent with ambience as they both lingered on eachother for just a little longer before falling back asleep into what was something greater than their conversation it was sense of relief something that kind of had to end it all if you say. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day was dim and flowed like a river towards an eternal waste that would stick to someone in an instant. It felt dark and gloomy with a sense of petrichor in the air before rain began falling against the pavement of the busy city streets creating droplets of clear paint against the umbrellas of unsuspecting victims. Stiles had to go out of town for police academy training so that he could make a living and pay for their bills but that's not all he also wanted to follow in his fathers footsteps, it was a personal fulfillment really.He was going to be flying a plane so Derek would obviously have to check on him. The distance would be long since Stiles would be in New york for a full month.

Derek sat alone, in the empty spot Sttiles had slept in the night breathing in the aroma of him as if he were still there laying next to him, Stiles ubiquity still with him. The world felt cold without his prescence as Derek stared up at the ceiling. He moved his hand that hit the side of the wooden table they had decided to put up against his resting place "Oww" he searched the table without his eyes seeing if he could feel for his phone before touching the plastic of it's cover. He scrolled through contacts seeing Scotts and Lydias number before coming to Stiles. He stared at the picture longer than he really should've, finally clicking the green phone and waiting for his voice on the other line.

"Hey, have you boarded yet?"

"No, were still waiting but I wanted to say I love you and i'll make it home safe, promise"

"Okay, I trust you but don't trust in that"

"You know im staying with my aunt Kate for the month i'm going to be here"

"Well, at least you know somebody over there"

"Your right, but i'd rather have you here"

"Then come back to me"

"I can't, I need this for me, For us"

"I know i'm being selfish aren't I"

"No, you're just overthinking that's all"

"Yeah, i'm overthinking about you"

"Haha very funny stop making me feel like i'm taking some sort of guilt trip"

"I'm not, i'm being honest"

"Okay fine I'll take it but when I get back you better have that look on your face like you're happy I did this, deal?"

"Deal"

"Love you"

"Love you too".

Derek hung up holding the phone against his lips and sighing texting Stiles.

"I thought you said every moment counted, but it doesn't when you go so far from me"

Lydia was the one to help Derek get fitted into his suit, it was exactly like Stiles but the sleeves had grey pads right on the elbows."You guys are so gorgeous it's hard to dress you people" the tailor said. It was the same tailor Stiles had when he went the previous week "Okay there all done do you like it chica" Derek nodded at his reflection "Yeah it's great" the tailor dropped his name tag "Oh i'll get that for you" Derek bent down looking at the name "Chuck, huh didn't expect you're name to be that" Chuck blushed "yeah my parents threw me when I was A baby" Derek laughed so hard at the joke he couldn't keep his balance " you need to let me come to you're wedding" Chuck said "Yeah, sure it's going to be around august but heres my number in case you need to know anything". Chuck grabbed the note from him looking it up and down "Okay, sure thanks I hope you two are happy together and I hope it doesn't end the way you want it to" Derek eyed him "excuse me?" Chuck looked back "I mean you do have kidney problems right?" Lydia turned away quickly "Lydia did you tell him everything?" Lydia looked guilty "Yes, but only because he wanted to know why Stiles looked depressed when we came over here to have him fitted". Derek was disgruntled but knew that theres no way she knew better, she only wanted to tell him why Stiles was sad and she was honest "Okay, okay". Lydia settled and patted the cushion beneath her bottom telling Derek to twirl "Stiles is going to like that, Mr.Suave" she looked pleased "Yeah he will". He got undressed putting back on his casual jeans, shirt and what not walking out "See you when the wedding is straightened out" Chuck walked up to him "I know someone who could give you a decent price on the wedding that you will have?" Derek phased in front of him "Who is that?" Chuck gave him a buisness card that read:

Kira Yukimura

The best of the best wedding planners

1-800-456-9982

Lowest prices is the nices.

My hands are as gentle as a roses petals.

Derek gave the card a supernal look as he read the last line squinting at the weirdness but huffing at the joke "Huh? okay i'll give her a call you take care, come on Lydia" Lydia sat up stumbling on the rug "Ahh" she said falling then picking herself up "You okay darling?" Chuck said helping her up "I'm fine I just need to watch where i wear heels next time".

 

The air hit Dereks skin as he sat in a local diner waiting for that Kira girl as he twirled the paper between his fingers. The rain pounded against the windows as he sipped his coffee and poked at the bacon on the side of his fried egg. The bell to the shop rang and he knew it was her just by looking at the petticoat she fashioned with a belt it was as dark as licorice and the belt was as gold as a melted willy wonka ticket. "Derek Hale you are in luck" she said pulling her umbrella and folding it "the names Kira, Kira yukimura and I am here to serve you right" she pulled out a binder placing it on the table "Nice to meet you" Derek said shaking on it her card was right she did have hands like petals, then drank back up his bittersweet coffee. "Okay, so is there something you were looking for, did you want it to be themed like i'm not sure if you're into goth or chic or bohemian but we could work out anything if you'd like" she smiled openly her cheeks smooth and bright "no, i was looking for something bright and soft like prom or i'm not sure" she opened the binder that had dozens of pictures splayed on it creating a rainbow of colors "We have what you're looking for" she pointed at a small picture in the corner that Derek now had his eyes glued to "that looks about right do you think you could change some of the decor I was thinking of white roses and silk" he folded his hands on the table "Yes, sir we can provide you with anything you like for a low price if you are still interested, I just need you to sign this waver and tell me all about you and you're partner also stating any relationship matters we should know about including health risks and problems just so that we can have some extra emergency caretakers at the wedding, do you understand?" Derek looked back up "Yes fully I just need to tell you I wan this to be the best thing he's ever had in his whole life I don't care if it costs me" she looked at him with utter disbelief "I like you're pride, therea a lot of guys out there that would set up a cushion fort but you, you take the whole cake my friend" she smiled holding his hand "You're in for a ride Derek" he smirked almost exasperatedly "I can reassure you that there will be some things we can't change, for instance we can't change if you want to stop the wedding and we can't change what happens that day if there ever seems to come some reason you have to quit it" she pulled her hands off flipping the book closed and sliding the waver over to him with a pen "You sure you want to do this?"

"I'm sure".

Derek picked up the pen and began writing:

"Me and Stiles have a relationship some people don't share and then we also have a side of things some do have in common, like the constant fear of losing him it kills me but then you know it's defintely not going to stop him from removing the face of death from his sight because soon I'll be gone and I can't change that nor can I change that he loves me from the grave and beyond. There are thing's that shouldn't be said but right now I want to share this story. With you. With everyone pretty much. But I don't know how to put it into words. I don't know how to tell you the urge to grasp onto this earth and hold on, just hold onto what I should and never let go and I feel having this wedding will truly tell him how I feel how I desperately wan't to show him compassion even though I may not be around too long, I just want to make the moment infinite, given the fact I only have three months to live".

Kira looked at him "Are you finshed writing, I can give you more time?"

Derek shyed his hand away from the paper 

"Yeah, Im finished" 

She smiled taking it and the pen.

"I also need to tell you to write you're credit card number unless you want to pay in cash?"

Derek took the pen receiving the paper one last time "there" he pushed it back her way.

She picked a distance to stare in "are you fine?" she finished reading the last paragraph wiping a tear that had accidentally been shed "I'm not okay, i'm never okay it's a constant reminder I could die any die and it kills Stiles and it kills me but we both have to learn how to think of other things rather than what were worried about it, I wanna be the only one worrying about it".

Kira shook her head "I understand Derek no need to explain I am going to make this the greatest event you could ever imagine if it kills me" she placed the paper in her binder "I will see you when the day comes". She scooted out of the booth Derek doing the same as she hugged him "I hope you get better" then she was gone. Derek stared out the window again drinking the last of his coffee and setting the mug back down.

"I love you"

"I love you too".

Things seemed to take longer when Stiles wasn't around anymore. Derek felt claustrophobic in the loft almost small and scrawny even though he knew he wasn't. He wiped down the huge windows they had in the front of the spacey apartment cleaning dust that had collected on the metallic strips that went down the glass. It was quiet and peaceful as he sat in the bathrooms tub the water warm against his body as he closed his eyes imagining Stiles on him. He reached for the phone dialling Stiles number.

"Hello?" 

"Hello"

"Stiles I need you right now"

"Where are you?"

"I'm at home in the bathtub"

Stiles went silent

"Derek, are you in trouble? what's wrong?"

Derek could feel himself faint with arousal.

"Nothing, I just want you, I need you"

Stiles was breathing heavily into the phone at that moment.

"You want to like have phone sex?"

Derek could feel his erection growing harder 

"Jesus Stiles yes"

'Oh god I can't beleive i'm doing this but okay let me get somewhere hang on"

Derek bit his lip waiting for Stiles.

"Okay you said you're in a bathtub?''

"Yeah"

"I want you to stroke yourself for me, I'm doing the same"

Derek put his hands beneath the water feeling himself and breathing into the phone.

"Oh yes, please Stiles" 

he imagined Stiles hands rubbing him.

"Okay now, go a little faster, shit"

Derek began going up and down faster and faster.

"Stiiiles oh I miss you so much"

"I know you do fuck, Derek...Derek please I can't hold on"

"I can't either Stiles oh god fuuuck"

"Stop, I want you to finger yourself"

Derek slipped himself out of the tub grabbing a towel and his phone to go to the bedroom. 

"Wait, let me go somewhere else a little more comfortable"

He was cold his teeth chattering as the air conditioner hit his bare skin.

He positioned the phone next to him on the table settling his back into the sheets and spreading his legs. He scissored himself open moaning quietly into the phone.

"Fuck, i'm so wet'' his other hand played with the tip of his cock feeling the cum against his fingers "Stiiiiiles".

you couldn't hear anything on the other side except for a throbbing pulse then a sudden moan.

"Derek I, I can't I'm gonna cum"

"Cum for me Stiles do it" 

he could here him cry out on the other side, the noise was more beautiful than he'd thought.

"Okay Derek do it for me now finger yourself"

He imagined skinny long fingers pressing into him as he took a breathe in.

"Ohhhhh gosh, It feels so good, if only it were you"

he kept his pace slow tightening his chest and heaving out cold hard breathes.

"It could be, if you just imagine for me, imagine me ontop of you riding your dick and kissing your chest"

"Stiles stop I think i'm gonna cum" then he released feeling the water still on him because he didn't dry completely.

"I'll be home soon baby"

"I know, and i'll be waiting for you".

Derek dryed off slipping on sweats and curling up in the bed watching the rain pound against the windows like tin cans hitting a car. There was only one thing on his mind, not death, not the wedding, but Stiles.


	8. Opal

Stiles is my friend, but he's more than my friend, he's stuck by my side for who knows how long and I can't repay him for that nor can I tell him flat out I would love to spend the rest of my life with him which can't be entirely true because I can die and, he'd never know especially since he's up in New York walking through central park with no hand to hold. He loves me and I love him but you know how the whole dynamics of it works you can't tell someone simply "Hey, I love you" no, you have to do it, you have to show them that. Actions speak louder than words unfortunately but in the case of love it's alot more than that, it's a piece of you someone has taken and placed into themselves almost literally not metaphorically. You feel it in the first touch, the first kiss, the first glance and it feels right, like you were swallowed into dark matter in space gripping onto the finger that held you onto earth. 

I could look at the way the blankets are wrinkled where he slept but I could never actually bring myself to touch it in spite of it being directly right next to me. I could hold a torch to the sky and be afraid of the light fading out so fast even though that's not possible when there's harsh shitty wind blowing at it. There's always some sort of obstacle you must face whether you want to or not. Why am I telling you this? I mean you're smart enough to know that gaining a relationship like this is going to be epicly blown out of proportion. You have one heart, one life, one sun, one moon, don't waste that all when you could give it away to someone you love.

I love when the suns rays hits my skin and you could just swallow the sunshine and taste it like it was candy. You leave the doors open and the windows letting the breeze of summer flow through you're house. It's something alot of people don't ever do but if you get the chance you should it's actually sorta perfect. I made a cup of tea filling the kettle on the stove and looking around to find the curtains blowing against the brick of the walls. I always liked the simple things in life which is hard to beleive but it's true, being so lonely in the woods made me appreciate things alot more but I think the reasoning behind this is life is something you must dignify and learn to love, it doesn't just choose you, you choose it and that's something my mom told me when I was younger.

Growing up wasn't so easy, we had issues with bills and even had to fight demons of our own it was the summer of 1996 and I had fallen in love with Paige a girl who played violin and studied viciously hard while doing so, I loved watching her slide the bow across the strings creating melodies out of nothing but the ears on our heads. We dated for a whole year before she ended up moving to some other state and I haven't heard the noises flow from something so simple like that ever again.

My mother worked at a local in-an-out burger, shifts would usually last from seven in the morning to seven in the afternoon. Coming home to a drunk father was usually typical in me, my mom and my sisters case. He was loud and also grumpy in occasions, he would beat my mother sometimes leaving marks on her face that once almost had the authorities on his ass.One day he decided it would be funny to leave a stove on all day and my mother popped in including my sister, Mom lit a cigarette and bam the whole place went up in flames taking that bastard to hell where he belonged. I was surprised by how he could breathe in so much carbon dioxide that he didn't just die on the couch. My mom was to sweet really to have gone out like that, My sister in all honesty even though I never told Stiles, survived, she was burned on her face, her whole face wasn't burnt it was only one side, it took three years till they fully resored the right side of it.

One thing I hated the most was how other kids in school would tease her about her looks creating an emotional picking on her, it made me upset and I always protected her from these things even though she begged me not to claiming she was 'fine' or 'I'm strong enough to go through high school with being picked on' well guess who didn't take that bullshit, this guy. We moved in with our uncle getting jobs to help pay the bills and whatnot.

My uncle granted me and my sister $300,000 which I told Stiles, the only part i failed to mention was that i gave her two hundred thousand of mine leaving me with only one hundred thousand to be exact. I never actually spent the money I usually kept it stored in A bank only spending money i earned because I knew one day it would be used but I neve was exactly sure. Its weird how we plan something so mysterious it could come out to be a good thing, Stiles is my good thing I just never knew.

I stood out in the darkness, surrounded by trees and shrubbery hearing what sounded to be like twigs snapping. "Hello......Is anybody there?" I couldn't see them so i moved accidentally snapping the twigs beneath my feet "If THIS IS SOME FUCKED UP JOKE AND YOUR ONE OF THE PARTY GOERS I SUGGEST YOU GO TO THE PARTY OR I CALL THE COPS" it fell silent again as I began walking towards the voice "IM NOT KIDDING!" I got closer looking at the silhouette with a hint of red from the moon bouncing off of their jacket, I placed my hand on their shoulder "Aaaah!" he yelled stumbling backwards as I watched in shock "who....WHO ARE YOU!" I could see the clear look of fear in his eyes ""Im Derek Hale and this is my property your on" the kid gasped and I never knew him neither have I met him living so deep in the woods. I can honestly say those ten words changed my life. I don't think i'll ever be the same.

Do ever think 'Hey this worlds pretty effed up but I can make that change, I can fix how I look at it by simply kissing someone and gazing into there eyes as they become one with you. Theres a dying fire inside someone so why not add a little gas to it huh?

There comes that stage in life where you learn not everything in this world is beautiful there's a dark side to things even if you highly doubt it you can do you're research because the truth has to be let out someday.

Staring at the ceiling in the dark is something I love looking forward to because you can look at something so blank, so vacant filled with nothing but white, I like to imagine the universe swirling above me gushing with stars and solar flares and colors the human eye has to try to see to beleive, watching the night sky flow past you're eyes is so much to take in when you are this simple thing standing on a hunk of dirt, we've got a lot to learn but we don't have that much time, we don't have as much time but I still stare at the ceiling, I still just, stare at the ceiling hoping I could watch my imagination for as long as Stiles wants to see me sleep beside him as if he could see what I see, If only he could I would give him my mind and take his just so I could see what he see's for one day.

If every morning I sit on the bed and sort out my thoughts I can say, only one lingers on my tongue and thats Stiles. I've counted how many times the heat on his side has become warm, but now it's cold and feels deserted like a house. For me Stiles was my home and I can't really tell him to come back until he does. Until he comes to me I have to say i'm homeless, it's stupid really I feel dumb just saying this but in all honesty I am and I don't quite know how to say how I feel. I've said to much but not enough and I don't think I should continue but if you let me I will.

Okay, I ended up in that house again not having anywhere to go while my sister moved to minnesota to be with her husband and it was a depressing time for me not having anything or anyone to interact with made circumstances difficult for me to overcome. Yeah i'd have the usual deer and so come by but it's not like they could talk because I mean lets be real here if a deer walked up to me and said "hey you seem lonely" I would probably cry for my mother, not that I would or anything.

I started realizing I was gay around ninth grade.

This boy cornered me in the lockerroom asking if I 'liked boys' or if i've ever slept with one.

I ended up dating him, this was after Paige had left and I was more than alone I was hungry, I was desperate and he fulfilled whatever I needed. I'm not a perfect person theres many things I wish I didn't do and that was one of him.

The summer of tenth grade was when I lost my virginity. At this point I was over emotional maybe even depressed and it's something I must live with every day. I found a reason for me to change who I was before. A reason to start over. The reason is the boy I found in the woods one day that made me fall madly head over heels in love with him even if he doesn't realize.

Stiles made a great impact on me yeah blah blah you're probably getting tired of hearing me say this but I love him. I love him to space and back. to the sun on the flowers. to the grains of sand that were put into the ocean. to the first drop of rain that falls when you look up. I accept him,, I love him just as he is, he accepts me loves me just as I am. We chose eachother everyday it isn't puppies and rainbows and cotton candy underneath a starry sky. But it's the biggest love i've ever known, I'll take it to the grave.

I sat up scrolling through my phone finally finding Stiles facebook page. I looked through pictures on his profile finally finding one that has me and him together.

I stare at it longer than I should holding my glance, whats he going to do with all these pictures when i'm gone.

Is he going to write a crappy eulogy saying how much I 'missed him' or 'how I always tended to leave the coffee maker on which only led to him burning his finger or other parts of his body'

anywho I don't want him to scribble down on a piece of paper saying any of those things like "I'm not sorry for loving you Derek Hale".

It's sort of calling for procrastination if you ask me.

I held the phone up to my ear.

""Hi this is Stiles can't come to the phone right now if you have any weird questions or just want to talk leave a message and I'll get back to you asap"

I smiled because it's the same voicemail he's had since we met and his voice sounds much different. It's like I grew up with him, together we grew up strong and I think now it'll be easy for him to understand what will happen to me, is something he won't and can't actually prevent.

"Can you dream if you're already dreaming".

I gave Stiles a ring with opal in it, because I wanted him to have the universe right on his finger wherever he went. It may not be the coolest or most romantic idea but in my world it is. This is totally better than diamonds if you ask me.

 

 

"Distance cannot and will not hurt a bond between two people that is based on mutual respect,trust commitment and love."

-Unknown


	9. Opal pt.2

I looked around the room my phone screen lit up in the dark of the night as I sit up reaching for it.

Derek Hale: 6 new messages

1.Hey Stiles are you okay

2.Hey hello answer me i've texted you once

3.Hello are you even awake

4.I'm guessing you're asleep

5.I should probably stop texting

6.well, if you are sleeping goodnight babe love you and see you when you get back

I always knew he would be overresponsive for wherever I go even if I went to a gas station to get a pack of reese's. I like it though the overprotectiveness of it is strange it gives me a sense he does actually care for me and that's something alot of people don't see. He gives me something I can do instead of being alone, for instance, I give him the fear of me being gone, No, i'm not being mean i'm just seeing if for once I can trust him.

For me growing up was something of A sudden wake up call even though I never really thought of it, when my mother died from cancer everything was different I just never seen it that way, I thought of it as A life experience, there's not really karma for me really. I've never done anything bad to anyone so there shouldn't be so even if there was I would rub it off and push it aside. I just don't get where the karma came from when I met Derek, the sudden face of black murky death existed right in front of me and it felt as though I could prevent it but that's just not happening like I expected it to. 

My mom, Claudia was the best person, we were friends, we were eachothers anchors you should say. All in all she cared for me and I cared for her even though I was young and didn't really know what the word caring meant. One day my father went on patrol to get some chick that had been in a car crash. He knew about my moms cancer for years but it never hit him she would die so unexpectedly, especially since he wasn't by her side to hold her hand. I know it must've been hard, well, it was especially me since she'd been in my life for less than his. I learned to pick myself up but I never thought it would be so hard when their was an invisible weight pushing you down repeatedly and constantly.

I was young and immature, I wasn't sure why I would do things but, I did. I ended up becoming addicted to prescription pills that my father would leave in the cabinet not really thinking I would do something like that. One day he came home and I had almost over dosed. I lay on the floor shaking as foam dripped out of my mouth, I knew what was happening was I was having a seizure right in front of my father, the only one who trusted me.

I was in the hospital for about a week before I was sent home, he signed me into rehab for a year, eventually it all faded into some dark space in my life, It was all for the depression really, all because my moms passing had effected me in ways until i hit fifteen thats when it all started.

I put rehab behind leading A normal life as a teenager in high school, me and Scott had met when we were four in a sandbox and decided to become friends.

He stuck with me by my side for so long and I love him for that.

He's my friend and I would never trade him out for anything better.(Okay not true I would for like Star Wars and crap but yeah you get it).

Anyways off topic, Derek has been there too but I have been by his side so many times I will find you was something I was determined to do for him even if it meant losing some part of me like my sense of mind.

I clicked the texting button sending him a message:

Stop being so worried sourflower, gotta learn to calm yourself i'm just in bed sleeping.

I feel bad about leaving him there all alone in that huge loft of our's but in order to survive somebodys gotta work. Don't we all.

I slipped out from under the covers throwing on my faded out Star Wars shirt that you couldn't really tell what the fuck it is, but I only wear it when I sleep so i'm not walking into some fancy restraunt ordering split pea soup and lamb chops.

The den of my aunts house was lit up very very faintly, I wipe my hand under my eyes trying to take the look of sleepyness off my face.

My aunt Kate is sitting at her computer with her husband giving him prompts and stuff about things he could write about "Hey Stiles you sleepy head come here" I walked over to where the fireplace was.(Her house is oddly angled so she can sit on the fireplaces stage and watch her husband at the same time).

"You uh you guys working on a new book" I asked, her husband Tom is a writer for childrens and strangely adult books as well "Yeah, its called 'evident divines' whatdya think?" she said tapping the spot next to her "Is it some kinky porn book like fifty shades of grey?" she laughed tilting her head back "You know you are the best damn nephew anyone can ask for you know that right?" she patted my back kissing me cheek and getting off the fireplace she asked "You want some hot cocoa it's pretty chilly here in the broncs?" I nodded scooting my legs up to the heat and rubbing my hands together in a speedy motion.

She taps my shoulder as I turn and grasp the cup of hot chocolate "Thanks".

"So how are you and Derek?"

"Were good"

"You know i've never actually seen a picture of him, do you have any? Lydia tells me he's a good lookin' one you got yourself Stiles"

"He is pretty beautiful" 

I pulled my phone out of the pocket on my sweats instantly going to my gallery and looking at his face, I know it was awkward for her since she sees me not dare move a hand or even a finger for ten fucking minutes "You okay there kiddo?" she scoots towards me "Yeah i'm fine here's one of him".

"He's a cutie, you two are a good pair"

"Haha thanks"

I place the phone back in my pocket making sure it doesn't make any guest appearances while I sit near the open fire. 

"Wow this is good, what kind is it?" I say as I sip the hot liquid.

"vanilla cream with some mint"

"Whoa didn't think those two would mix but this is good"

I sipped the liquid in silence and sound looking at the way Tom's fingers clicked the keyboard gracefully sliding over and over to different key letters.

I sat my cup down brushing my hands down my arm "You and Kate been okay?" I say looking back over to him. "Yeah, everythings good she just needs to learn how to cook meatloaf" I start laughing holding my stomach "You guys crack me up i'm going back to bed I gotta go to training again tomorrow".

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day I went to my last unit of training the sun shone through the clouds and gave me goosebumps when it became covered by clouds. I walked into the glass doors looking at all the trainers I was assigned to. Other men began coming in going with their trainers to get started and leave this godforsaken place. "Okay, Today ALL OF YOU BECOME MEN, YOU LOOK FEAR IN THE EYES AND KNOW WHERE IT COMES FROM AND SWALLOW IT DOWN LIKE MILK" we all stood stiff in uniform staring at the man who was yelling at us "GET YOU'RE ASSES ON THE FIELD AND START EXCERCISING LOOK AT YOU" he pointed to a man who had sweat dripping down his face "YOU THINK HAVING THAT BELLY IS GONNA HELP YOU CHASE DOWN THAT BAD GUY HUH? I DON'T THINK SO, YOU CAN'T EVEN HANDLE ME WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT'LL WORK HUH? GET YOUR ASS OUT THERE AND DROP THE JELLY DONUTS" I felt my nerves rattle when he stopped in front of me "See this man right here, He's toned and eats well, it may be from fast metabolism but YOU CAN BUY PILLS PEOPLE! GET OUT ALL OF YA COME BACK WHEN YOU LOOK LIKE KIM KARDASHIAN" we all ran to the doors entering the fields and joining up at the tightropes 'Okay, 1...2....3 GO!" i quickly grappled it my boots cleating onto the metal latches on the wall. I held on climbing up as another boy on my side held his gaze at me almost rudely as if he would beat me. I got to the top but before I did my hand slipped my other dangling as I try to return to my first position struggling but finally getting it. I look back at him and he seems farther than me "Shit" I whisper.

I know this sorta thing is easy for some but trust me when you're really out their you go through a spiritual struggle like you feel that inner buffalo man, I didn't feel that inner buffalo at the moment as I panted placing my hands on my knees.

"Whats the matter boy, short of breathe" one says behind me. I turn seeing him realizing that it's the one that was called out on his weight "Shut up creme crater" he stops in his tracks gaping which gives me time to create distance between us. I get to the last step where you have to crawl through a maze of things including sand, mud, and wires. I get down on my knees and elbows slowly gliding myself through suddenly I feel a hand on my ankle. I look down and it's him "You AIN'T GOING ANYWHERE AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF I'M GONNA LET SOMEONE LIKE YOU BEAT ME" he bites my ankle "WHAT THE, WHAT THE SHIT" I yell kicking my boot at his face "LET GO YOU MORON" he takes my foot on his mouth and becomes hurt giving me space and letting go as I crawl deeper his teeth marks still on my ankle.

I thrust my leg up as it get's caught on a wire i feel them scraping against my black jeans as I finish that part the mud part is where i get cautious. I look at the dark brown of it instantly regretting putting my leg in it once I do. When i scoot through it I crawl out an open part of the netting and I'm finally out. "WHOOOOO YEAHHHH" I say pumping my fist into the air.

The instructor comes up to me "Congratulations, Stiles Stilinski you are now an official member of the department of justice" I smiled taking my badge and poking the needle through the fabric in my shirt "Thank you" I say as I walk to the lockerroom to get dressed my clothes covered in full on rock hard cemented mud, or at least thats what it felt like.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh my god Stiles that's great"

Derek says over the phone.

"Yeah I know it is, i'm coming home Derek"

"I can't wait to see you"

"I can't wait either".

I say as I kiss the phone wishing I could breathe him in or taste him if I could through this electronic.

'Im boarding the plane now"

"Okay, text me when you get here or call it doesn't matter I just want to know you're okay"

"Okay, love you"

'Love you too Stiles".

I pull my suitcase up to the terminal "Bye" I say to Kate as she hugs me "You tell me when that wedding is" she says kissing my forehead and gripping my shoulders so tight they might just become flat again."Bye Stiles baby" she says waving as she holds Tom's hand.

I wave back entering the terminal, the girl upfront tells me to hand over my ticket "Okay, you're seat is 3f have A good flight sir" she says as I enter the plane and began putting my suitcase into the top of the plane fighting with other peoples bags and belongings just to push it in.

I get seated wondering if i'm the only one that will be sitting in this spot until a girl with a cute kinda big mole seats herself next to me "Hi" she says as i reply "Hello" she smiles openly giving me a strange look and grabbing a magazine from the chair infront of her.

She stays like that for most of the flight after we lift off. "My names Paige, and you are?" she says holding her hand out "Oh, i'm Stiles, Stilinski" I add gripping her hand and shaking it "So why are you going to Beacon Hills?" I ask "Well, we heard someone was planning a wedding and wanted a band to play something and me and my friends have our own band so they decided to let us audition" I give her an awkward bizarre look "Why are you going?" she asks me looking down at the different menu choices of dresses on the magazine. 'Well, I have someone who loves me and we are planning on getting married, you don't happen to know someone named Derek Hale, do you?" she looks up with the most estranged look and widening her eyes "I knew Derek Hale in high school, we dated for a year then I left with my parents". I looked at her strangely "Oh my god you mean he hasn't been" she shrugged pucking her lips "I guess not". We talked about the song I wanted at the wedding and filled eachother on what was going to happen.

"Well, you are A really nice guy I hope they pick our band out for the wedding" she said giving me a tight squeeze as we unboarded the plane. I smiled back at her as she walked down the aisle as I grabbed my suitcase. It felt different in Beacon Hills everything was warm and cozy, in New York it felt like winter had hit and we were already celebrating christmas.

I drove to the loft stopping in a parking lot and gripping my phone in my pocket took it out and sent Derek a message:

"I'm home"

"you are? I hope everything went okay with the flight?'

"Yeah, I made a new friend".

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” -Bob Marley.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I walked into the store with Derek holding my hand as I looked over to the desk where I forgot her name kyra Kiara oh Kira that's right forgot my mind has brain farts sometimes. Now where were we oh yeah well Dereks holding my hand and were walking up to the desk and shes all like "Nice to see you again Derek"and i'm like "who the heck told you to call him by his name when you don't know him" just kidding i'd probably never have the actual balls to do so, she looks at me extending her hand as she cracks a smile "I am guessing this is Stiles" she says as Derek looks at me with his hands on my shoulders helping me sit "Yes, but don't tell him about the uh-'' he said wiping his hand across his mouth signalling she should probably not tell me anything "What are you talking about?' I say looking back up at Derek who is now sitting himself beside me "I already payed for the wedding I even got a cheap price for something that is still pretty beautiful'' I turn my looks towards Kira "Okay, show me the picture" She slants her jaw 'I can't do that, he want's it to be a surprise and even if I did he would become very angry and I am too young to die" she says looking seriously at me.

I guess all of this leads up to one thing and one thing only whether it's funny or dumb or serious it doesn't matter..........He's next to me and thats another day that keeps me breathing.


	10. Summer

"He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you".-Bob Marley

"So how was it over there" Derek asks taking a bite of his honey bun.  
"Good if you exclude the weather" Derek chewed looking up from his plate "Wasn't the weather hot?" he says continuing his light chewing game. "Are you kidding me, It was cold as balls" Stiles says taking a straw and stabbing it through his capri sun "you still drink those?" Derek says pointing his snack at the silver pouch "yeah, you don't see me complaining about you're honey bun do you?" Stiles says chewing on the end of the yellow straw, he knows Derek knows he was right. "any plans for tonight?" it was the fourth of july and the sun rised bright and early the clouds never blocking it.  
"Well, we can go to the park and sit on a blanket to watch the display or we can just play with sparklers, you're the adult here so you know if fun isn't good for you then yeah" Stiles said looking away almost trying to be cute in those glasses of his. "I think the sparkler thing would work a lot better in my taste" Stiles looked back with a creepy smile "I love you fiance" he said making Derek almost snort in an inappropriate building. Stiles and Derek sat in the office of the Beacon Hills police department. "Stiles Stilinski" he sat up from the chair he was in next to Derek. An older woman handed him a paper that he needed to sign in order to officially become part of the department permanently. "Sign here, right here and you are....Done"she said pulling it back behind her desk.

They arrived back at home Stiles plopping himself down on the couch and putting his earbuds on to listen to music. "You should really consider letting me practice that dance with you again" Stiles took his earphones off looking at Derek who stood at the end of his feet "uhm, okay" he sat up and grappled Dereks hand with his "okay but we need to go slow and please follow my lead this time because lets be honest you're not the greatest dancer". It's so true Derek didn't know how to move his feet but hey, he tried. Stiles swept his hands down to Dereks waist making sure he was in place firmly "okay, follow me" he began moving steadily to the pace sliding and gliding him and Derek around the wooden flooring "just move with me" he gripped Derek tighter "trust me it's just like sex you gotta work with the other person in order to make it better" Derek thought about him and Stiles making love and quickly picked himself up and began doing exactly how Stiles was showing him. "haha where exactly did you learn how to do this?" he asked his fingers becoming a little looser on Stiles shoulders "I had free time at Kates and decided why not, went on youtube and bam finally know how to dance". The music stopped as they stared at each other "God" Derek lifted Stiles up who was kissing him roughly tossing them both onto the couch and taking his shirt off "You're so hot" Derek said lifting Stiles hips to slide his pants off. Stiles heart was racing as Derek palmed him. There was a moment as he threw the pants off to the side where he climbed on top of Stiles staring directly at his lips then back at his eyes" I want you to let me ride you this time" he said. Stiles sat up on his elbows the sunlight reflecting off his glasses making it harder for him to see. "Okay but i've never actually bottomed before, this will be different" Derek slid down his purple briefs looking at the long length of Stiles. "You look like you grew" he said. Stiles felt more comfortable with Derek now and the sex thing since they've been together so long. "I guess I did, maybe I age good" Dereks boxers came off as he slid himself onto Stiles, the sensation orgasmic" Ohh" he said his head leaning back as he ran his hand through his hair. "okay, let's go slow" Stiles hands gripped Derek's thighs moving inside him slowly. Derek looked stunned but pleased at the burning. "Stiles, jesus" his hand was against Stiles chest as he rocked himself a little bit "oh shit" Stiles said feeling him move beneath his hands. Stiles moaned grasping onto Dereks hair pulling his head down to bite his ear gently. "Ahh fuck" they both moaned against each other as Stiles hips thrust deeper into him. This was kind of healing Derek needed for not seeing Stiles in so long, if you call sexual healing a thing.  
"DEREK!" He yelled his hips fucking into Derek.  
"STILES OH FU- YOU'RE SO GOOD SOOO GOOD" Stiles thrust once more filling him.  
They both looked up moaning in ecstasy as he fell back on top of Stiles.  
it was the most interesting and intense thing they've done in A long time but it definitely helped Derek.  
"how did I do"  
"well, for someone who's never actually done anything to anyone I'd give you a ten"  
Stiles smiled pushing Derek off of him.  
They both took a shower together but it wasn't sexual by any means, it was rather romantic and peaceful and comforting because they knew exactly how it felt to be next to each other.  
\-------------------------------------  
Night fell as they headed to the park to meet up with the pack,  
Allison looked at the ring on Stiles finger "Jesus, that must've cost a fortune" she said lifting his finger to get a better view. It looked like a rainbow, or a color run "What are you doing, representing you're flag or something" she said giggling covering her face with her sleeve. Stiles wasn't sure if should laugh until Derek came up "Actually its supposed to represent the universe" Allison gave it one more look "I can see that, it's romantic Derek you little cheese ball" Lydia sat at a bench with Scott and Jackson all of them covered in sweaters and light blankets" Stiles come here" he walked over to them flashing a look back at Derek and Allison.  
"What's up" he poked the nose of his glasses reaching down to scratch his forearm.  
"You guys prepared for the big day"  
"of course, yeah"  
Scott and Jackson looked like they were fanboying about a new video game at what Stiles said.  
"I really just want it to come faster already"  
"I know right, here scoot let me sit you guys go to the other bench"  
Jackson and Scott looked upset as they jumped up and went over to the other side.  
"What's wrong" she said patting Stiles thigh.  
"I don't want the days to go by so fast, I want to spend every moment with him, but I can't"   
Lydia put her head on his shoulder wrapping her arm around his neck.  
"I know honey, I know"  
"You ever wish you could create a button that could erase something for you"  
"Well, that's why men created erasers" she knew what he meant but didn't take back what she said.  
\-------------------------------------  
Derek held the lighter on front of his face in the dark looking at how it heated the wire up just to create sparks. He felt the sparks hit his face but it didn't hurt as he chased Stiles around with it all of them running with sparklers.

Did you know sparklers were created to light fireworks?  
Did you know Stiles Stilinski was the firework Derek was trying to light?

Derek blew his out still running after Stiles and tackling him.  
They both lay in the grass staring at each other, Derek kissed him. It felt like he had finally lit Stiles up creating a burst of light you could see from any shuttle in space.

"come on they're probably debating on whether were having sex in the woods or not".

They both got up Derek helping Stiles.  
Jackson, Scott, Allison, and Lydia a sat in A circle.  
Stiles walked over to find they had brought beer and snacks.  
Scott tossed one at both Derek and Stiles. They all sat down talking about things other than the wedding like that one time Allison said she had to leave around Christmas.  
Or how Jackson and Lydia were postponing they're wedding to go to Stiles's. Oh great there they go mentioning the wedding like Stiles had hoped they wouldn't.  
Hugs and goodbyes were all that emptied the bottles of beer.  
The fourth of july was only just another crappy excuse to get wasted like Scott who passed out on the ground.  
"Hey buddy, time to go home"   
Stiles said pushing him over and looking at how he stared at him blankly.  
"hih ya Stiles you doin good?"  
"Yeah and I want you to do good by going home and getting some sleep"  
he lifted Scott who slumped over him as he carried him to Allisons truck. "Thanks Stiles for everything". She shut the door driving off with the rest leaving Stiles and Derek.  
\-------------------------------------

Silence and sound was all that there was as Derek and Stiles slept which was strange since they usually talked to each other in bed.  
Stiles was in the kitchen cooking french toast for him and Derek as he felt to hands slide onto his waist.  
All Stiles was wearing was his underwear and his usual star wars themed pajama shirt.  
"Good Morning"  
Derek had his arms around Stiles kissing his cheek then putting his chin back on Stiles's shoulder.  
"mmmm good morning what are you doing?"  
"makin breakfast"  
"you know, you surprise me a lot"  
"Why is that?"  
"In all the days i've been with you, not one single time have you ever made breakfast"  
"Well, I can stop making this and leave you to starve, or you can enjoy the sweet taste of cinnamon and vanilla"  
"okay fine I'll eat the toast, bossy"  
he took his hands away grabbing a plate and sitting down to eat. Stiles walked over with his plate as well, both sitting together.  
"So when do you begin the whole police thing"  
Stiles finished swallowing whatever was in his mouth.  
"When they give me A call"  
Derek continued eating watching how Stiles had to repeatedly fix his glasses.  
"here, take them off you look better"  
"So you're saying I look bad with glasses?"  
"no, i'm saying I would rather see you without them just to see, you"  
Stiles lips parted in awe as he looked at Derek who was taking them off.  
"there, now you can enjoy eating"  
"and that's why we are getting married"  
Derek chuckled before getting up to put his plate in the sink.  
"I've been meaning to ask, where did you get the bite on you're ankle?"  
"oh you mean this"  
Stiles pointed at it.  
"When I was training everything got over heated and some guy thought the way to win was to try to chew my ankle off"  
Derek couldn't stop laughing, tears were forming on his eyes as he wiped them away.  
"haha what's so funny"  
"You ya big dork" he kissed Stiles then went to go get dressed.

"All is well" Kira said putting her boots on the desk.  
Stiles placed his hand on Derek's


	11. When There's A Star Don't Wish

> "There are those that look at you and see they're reflection, there are those who feel you and have no sense of what you are, then there are those who can look at you and say "I love you"-Unknown
> 
>  
> 
> ****

_**August, 28th, 2010.....** _

_**It was a month later and Stiles was with his dad and Lydia getting ready for the big day.**_  
 _ **"You doing good there kiddo" John said fixing**_ _ **Stiles's**_ _ **tie.**_  
 _ **"**_ Yeah, i'm good just uh nervous is all" _**Lydia buttoned his overcoat.**_  
 _ **"You know when this is all over, I don't want to see you hurt" she said clicking the last button in place.**_  
 _ **"I know, I really hope everything will be okay".**_  
 _ **\-------------------------------------**_  
 _ **Derek was in another part of the building with Scott and Jackson.**_  
 _ **"Thanks guys, really, for everything"**_  
 _ **Derek said as Scott ironed his white button down. "I'm really happy for Stiles and you" he said turning the iron off and handing some gum to Jackson."I'm gonna go see Stiles" Scott said waving and leaving the room.**_  
 _ **\-------------------------------------**_  
 _ **"okay Stiles,**_ _ **Derek's**_ _ **in the chapel with his sister now if you can just sit down and calm yourself everything will be fine". Stiles chugged the glass of water Scott gave him "Derek still has a sister?"**_ _ **Scotts**_ _ **hands were on his shoulder "Well, yeah just one side of her face is burnt" Stiles was hyperventilating and losing his composure "Hey John get over here you're sons about to die from overwhelming himself too much".**_  
 _ **John took Stiles face in his hands**_  
 _ **"look at me Stiles, hey calm down"**_  
But.....I.......can't" he said through breathes.  
 _ **"Lydia!"**_  
She walked over scooting John and kissing Stiles hard.  
Stiles never really kissed a girl but if he did he wondered if he would've been gay.  
 _ **"Better?"**_  
"Better".  
 _ **They rushed down the hallway stained glass making everything much prettier to look at "Okay grab my arm" John said interlocking them together "you ready?" Stiles looked ahead "as ready as I'll ever be".**_ ** _john and him sucked in a breathe stiffening when they heard the priest on the microphone._**  
 ** _"Here comes the grooms groom", Stiles and john began walking everyone including_** ** _Kira_** ** _were sitting in the rows of wooden benches._**  
 ** _Stiles spotted_** ** _Paige_** ** _but knew if he had told Derek something was bound to happen._**  
 ** _The pathway was becoming filled with roses as a little girl skipped ahead of them dropping petals from a basket._**  
 ** _They continued walking, Stiles looked at Derek and noticed how his suit was exactly the same and knew Lydia had done that on purpose, they came to a stop, John leaving Stiles up on the steeple in front of crap loads of people, he smiled when he seen Kate waving and mouthing" You look good"._**  
 ** _Derek took Stiles hands as the preacher Smiled at both of them._**  
 ** _"What a cute couple huh?" he said giving the crowd a laugh instead of blowing into tissues which was exactly what Lydia was doing at the moment._**  
 ** _"okay lets get started shall we"_**  
 ** _"Do you, Stiles_** ** _stilinski_** ** _vow to be a part of_** ** _Dereks_** ** _life and hold his hand in death"_**  
 ** _"_** I do"  
 ** _"And do you Derek_** ** _Hale_** ** _vow to carry a candle in the dark when Stiles can't see and needs to be guided, you know in case he almost stubs his toe on furniture?"_**  
 ** _The crowd laughed again._**  
 ** _"I do"_**  
 ** _"You may kiss the groom"_**  
 ** _Derek leaned forward kissing Stiles and taking his hand to raise it in the air as the crowd went wild._**  
 ** _\-------------------------------------_**  
 ** _Everyone gathered at the tent outside it was huge and Stiles could see why_** ** _Kira_** ** _and Derek didn't want to tell him anything because when he got inside it was almost as beautiful as he imagined._**  
 ** _"Speaking of the groom there he is now" Scott said. Stiles waved at everyone blushing as he walked over to the table Derek was at with his sister. "Hi you're Stiles" she said shaking on it "Yeah, the Stiles" Stiles said sitting. "I'm_** ** _Derek's_** ** _sister i'm not sure if he's talked about me" Stiles shook his head "No, he never told me anything else about you except for the fire" she looked at Derek "oh well, you gotta love brothers" she pinched_** ** _Derek's_** ** _ear making him whine "You look like me" Stiles said kissing Derek._**  
 ** _\-------------------------------------_**  
 ** _I finished watching Lydia give her speech "Stiles, you're the greatest friend anyone can ask for including Scott but right now he's downing_** ** _jello_** _ **shots" everyone laughed clapping as my father rang his glass at his chair next to kate, standing up he yelled "Attention! I wanna give cheers to my son for having the balls to go through with this" everyone yelled "CHEERS" they all began drinking their wine including me as I stood up "I would like to give a speech!" I ran up to the small wooden stage standing behind the steeple in front of everyone, I engaged my look at Derek who was watching me and smiling, then I looked back at the lights that were strewn across the top of the tents white covering, it reminded me of when me and Derek first moved into the loft. My hands fumbled in my pocket I was sweating furiously but gained the courage to rip the paper with my speech on it.**_

 

 

_**_"_** You know What, i'm not going to give you some crappy speech i made with a pencil and a piece of paper in my free time no, i'm going to say.  
Go after them. Fuck, don’t sit there and wait for them to call, go after them because that’s what you should do if you love someone, don’t wait for them to give you a sign cause it might never come, don’t let people happen to you, don’t let me happen to you, or them, they're not a fucking television show or tornado. There are people I might have loved had they gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at four in the morning because they need to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this and I always thought I’d be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of a fuck to do it back or to act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest and making someone fall in love with you is easy and flying 3000 miles on four days notice because you can’t just sit there and do nothing and breathe into telephones is not everyone’s idea of love but it is the way I can recognize it because that is what I do. Go scream it and be with them in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is, that is raw and that is unguarded, and that is all that is worth anything, really.......Thank you"._

_**_Everyone was silent as I stood on the stage staring at them, Derek's mouth was open in shock and Lydia just burst out crying in front of everyone running to the bathroom. I threw the paper on the floor and walked off. I went over to the band where Paige was sitting "Stiles that was beautiful" she said ,"I know, do you guys have the song ready?" she looked back at her band members, "yeah", I fixed my collar "okay, I want you to play". I called out Derek, everyone turned in they're chairs to look at me "Derek!" he looked shooken with shock. He stood up moving through the chairs that stuck in the grass. He finally got to me standing on the wooden paneling beneath our feet. Derek didn't look at Paige because he was oblivious to the fact it was her. I cued them lipping from one to three and that's when they started playing._**  
 _ **I could've sworn I felt**_ _ **Derek's**_ _ **heart drop when he heard that violin for the first time.**_  
  
 _ **He did exactly what I taught him, almost like he had been practicing behind my back.**_  
 _ **"Stiles, I love you"**_  
"I love you too"  
 _ **we our foreheads together almost**_ _ **transfering**_ _ **thoughts as we stared at**_ _ **eachother**_ _ **.**_  
 _ **"Is that**_ _ **Paige**_ _ **?" he asked.**_  
"Yeah, remember how I told you I made a new friend on the plane, well she's the one I met"  
 _ **Derek smirked pulling me closer.**_  
 _ **"It's just like i imagined"**_  
"what?"  
 ** _"being married to the one who stole my heart"._**  
  
 ** _When the song was over everyone whistled and clapped at us as I took my coat off_** _ **tossing it on a chair and grabbing**_ _ **Derek's**_ _ **hand we ran out of the tent into the woods nearby when we finally passed the trees we knew we weren't as far from the tent as we thought. Derek**_ _ **layed**_ _ **himself in the grass next to me as I lay next to him.**_  
 _ **We watch the sky looking up at how the stars dance throughout the trees branches and shoot through the night. It looked as if salt had been spilled onto a black coffee table, in my sense.**_  
 _ **Derek's**_ _ **hand went through the grass snaking until he grabbed mine.**_  
 _ **"**_ Derek, I love you"  
" ** _I know"_**  
No, it's not that. It's not what you're thinking. I was serious when I said 'all of it'. I can remember every moment we were together, and in each of them there was something wonderful. I can't really pick any one time that meant more than any other. The entire summer was perfect, the kind of summer everyone should have. How could I pick one moment over another? Poets often describe love as an emotion that we can't control, one that overwhelms logic and common sense. That's what it was like for me. I didn't plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt if you planned on falling in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has happened only once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it".  
 ** _Derek's_** ** _pull on my hand was hard like he could grab my soul and take it._**  
 ** _"I love you too Stiles"._**  
 ** _The night grew chilly as we lay there, I didn't really care if my white button up got dirt and grass stains on it because really, I just was too caught up in the moment._**  
 ** _"Make a wish" Derek told me pointing to a star that was gliding through the sky slowly._**  
 ** _"_** I don't need to make a wish Derek"  
 ** _"Why?"_**_  
"because you are my wish"

 ** _Derek closed his eyes, his hand still holding mine, the grip not unbroken._**  
 ** _"_** It's nice out, hopefully they aren't worried about where we went"  
 ** _Derek didn't speak he just lay there silently with his eyes closed, probably sleeping._**  
"Oh, come on Derek don't fall asleep"  
 ** _he still didn't reply._**  
"Derek you better be kidding"  
my heart was racing through my chest "Derek!" I shook him trying to wake him from his slumber. "Don't play with me!" I sat on my knees by his side gathering my thoughts slapping him forcefully" DEREK! HEY WAKE UP!" I shook him again but sudden realization hit me. Derek Hale the boy I met in the woods was gone.  
 


	12. Epilogue

~ _ **Epilogue~**_ ****

> **_"Love you"_**  
>  **"Love you too"  
>  ** _"Stiles"_**  
>  "yeah"  
> **                               " ** _Wait for me"_**
> 
> ****
> 
> ****
> 
> ****
> 
> ****
> 
> "To be honest I can say it was easy for me too let go, I literally held his hand in death, but, I'm glad we made those vows soon because he would've never heard it I probably wouldn't be saying this right now. Derek was the greatest person I've ever known and it was the biggest love i've ever known. I hope one day I can look up to the sky and see him smiling at me just because he wants to. I will keep my promise and I will wait for him, no matter what, I will wait for him. The other day, I went to the woods and stepped onto the rotting wood of the house, I could still smell that familiar scent of cologne and I'd know it from anywhere. I walked inside and see an empty jar of Prego on the table. It was rotted but still had some sort of nostalgia left on it. I knew Derek would leave, but not like this, not this fast. It's been a year since he passed and I still can't remember what he looks like, how he felt, or how he looked at me when I slept.  
>  There in his room, was a picture of me and him on a thumbtack. I sat on the end of the bed, listening to the birds chirp and sing outside the window. I had the picture in my hand staring at him and it felt so surreal like i could reach out and touch him but I couldn't, if only I had made a wish on that star that night he would still be next to me.
> 
> Yeah, it was quite a journey, one most people wouldn't venture on but it was fun and sad and filled with love I can never get again.
> 
> So, what's this all really add up to, I can't say but one thing I know is I will never let that one memory go, the day I met the love of my life.
> 
> No matter how much suffering I went through I never wanted to let go of those memories, even the worst ones, because every moment I spent with him was A moment I was alive and I will try to let go, but I promise you, there's no doubt it's going to be painful and filled with things I can't begin to think of but it was a long ride without you.
> 
> Derek Hale.....I'm coming.
> 
> **_I get out of my jeep handing a box over to my police trainee Isaac_ ** **_Lahey_ ** **_. "You got it" he nods looking at Allison and kissing her. Scott moved to Florida to be with his mom and my dad owns his own barber shop in Beacon Hills. Allison found Isaac when we went on a job together. Jackson's still with Lydia and Lydia got pregnant four months after the wedding. "You two gonna get a room or am I gonna have to arrest you" they both went upstairs to her apartment, leaving me with Lydia "so, you wanna go get some ice cream or something" she said holding me "yeah, wait do you see that?" I say pointing to a piece of paper that was crumpled up on the dead leaves next to the car. "Yeah what is it?" I shrug walking over to it and bending down. As I open it I notice the writing looks like_ ** **_Derek's_ ** **_:_ **
> 
> **_"_ ** _I'm waiting"_
> 
> _**I stare at it for a minute before Lydia walks over. "What is it?" I fold it quickly "Nothing" I shove it in the front breast pocket on my uniform "let's go get that ice cream".** _  
>   
> 
> 
> _****Unable are loved to die, for love is immortality  
>  -unknown**  
> ** _
> 
> ****


End file.
